Take 4 yo to lesbian wedding?

B - posted on 07/05/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Torn if I should take my 4 year olds to a lesbian wedding. They already ask a lot of questions. I'm not sure if we have all the answers. I was raised in the Bay Area, my husband in the mid-west. He wasn't exposed to as many gay/lesbian friends until about 10 years ago. He is not sure he feels comfortable taking the kids to a lesbian wedding. He feels like for him it's fine but why expose kids to something new/big at this age if they don't come across it naturally or in their day to day life? Until they do, keep conversations as they are...

I think I'm on board taking them, but I feel both of us need to feel that way.

Thoughts?

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Jodi - posted on 07/05/2016

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Really? You'd be amazed how few questions kids will ask once you answer that people don't choose who they love, and its the same as if it were a man and a woman. Your kid is only going to ask awkward questions if you make a big deal about it. To be honest, the sooner you expose your daughter to this being totally normal, the better. There's a really BIG possibility that in the very near future (after all, she is almost school age) she will have a friend or kid she goes to school with who has 2 mothers or 2 fathers. Why shelter her?

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Sarah - posted on 07/06/2016

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I agree that you should be united in the decision. I see nothing wrong with taking them as long as they were invited. Not everyone wants little kids at their wedding. If they have questions about two girls getting married, offer the simplest answer and then see if they even have more questions. Telling them that sometimes girls/boys love each other and want to be together forever so they get married, will probably be sufficient.

B - posted on 07/06/2016

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I should also add they were asked to carry the rings down the aisle! I felt like that is such an honor - to be asked that! Now I really want to take them because I think the way you guys have put it simply, makes a lot of sense.

Thanks again - you guys are awesome for talking it through. Now how do I get it through my husband's head ;) hehe

Michelle - posted on 07/05/2016

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I agree with Jodi. A marriage is a celebration of love between 2 people. Why wouldn't you want your children to be accepting of everyone? If you don't make a big deal of it then they won't.
I also agree that explaining not all families have Daddies is good. You should also add that not all families have Mummies either.

Jodi - posted on 07/05/2016

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If she asks about whose the daddy, just let her know there isn't always a daddy in the family. After all, that will often be the case in single parent families too. No harm in saying that. She won't ask questions she isn't comfortable having answered at an age appropriate level.

B - posted on 07/05/2016

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Thank you Jodi! I was thinking that as well, they will be exposed soon, I'm sure. They have already met the couple, so they know it's a bit different than our family at home. My daughter asked - who's the daddy, meaning from the couple, who is the dad and who is the mom. :)

I don't want to convince my husband that it is ok to take them and it is ok to have answers ready in mind when questions come up. I want him to feel comfortable.

Thanks again! Any other thoughts that come up are welcome :)

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