Take back a cheating husband or not ?

Telzey - posted on 08/07/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I need some good womanly advice. I have have been with my husband for almost seven years although we have only been married six months, we have just separated. I have caught him cheating, sexting other woman and he has a terrible porn addiction. I have been dealing with this for years now but I have finally had enough. Between us we have 3 children i just don't know what I should do anymore say with him and be miserable or leave and possibly mess my kids up through divorce ? He also is a very spiteful person that will take every thing he can away from me just to make me miserable and make it hard for me to deal with the kids alone.

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Jennifer - posted on 08/07/2013

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That is a hard one. I caught my boyfriend looking at porn and I threw him out and told that's a deal breaker for me.

If I were you I would make a plan to leave. Set up a private account and start documenting everything you can. Make copies of All of your important paperwork. Leave no stone unturned. Kids know when parents aren't happy. Divorce isn't what hurts them it's getting lost in the shuffle that divorce can cause. So keep them paramount in your life. Listen to them when they need to talk and allow them to feel frustration. Your job is to be your best self so you can be a wonderful example to them when they need you.
As for your husband cut your losses. You can do better even if your alone for a while. Set higher standards for the man in your life. If you want a man in you life don't just ask for a man as for a very specific type of man. Make your wish very detailed and keep your heart open. You will find him but this guy will never meet your standards because you feel betrayed already. Once betrayed there is no going back. It will always be there and you didn't ask for that or deserve it. Be strong and great things will happen for you and the kids.

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Jennifer - posted on 08/07/2013

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I left a 9 yr relationship 2 years ago. I had a huge house, amazing cars, money to burn but non of that mattered to me. Once I faced this situation I packed my things and left. I moved to another state with a dream jot of money but I trust and happiness. I made an emotional list of what I wanted in life, I thought of a home full of comfort and love. A man that didn't care about material things or being loved by anyone but me. I felt my way to happiness And kept my heart open to the right kind of man. Now two years later we just bought a home on the water. It's small and needs some work but we are doing it together. My daughter just loves him they are great friends but the mom to her. I set the rules and I handle all of the decipline if needs. He doesn't interfere with that at all nor should he. We will however parent out baby together. I'm am pregnant and due on New Years Eve. Life will get better just know what you want and don't settle. You are a strong and independent women. You are a mother. You can do this. One say you will wake up and your life will be exactly what you wish for. Start making a list of dreams and watch them start to come true.

Telzey - posted on 08/07/2013

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You know she should be more sensitive to the situation considering its what her husband did to her clearly that's where my husband learnt it. She isn't they all making me the bad guy and accusing me of having some else because I'm taking it to calmly really ? I have the kids to worry about I can't break down in front of them ! I'm better of with out that in my life , its time for them to leave me alone and him to stop trying to manipulate me into thinking its all my fault . Honestly what ever fight he puts up now is too late there should never of been a first other woman in any case but he doesn't see it that way he accuses me of throwing our life away. Men !

Jennifer - posted on 08/07/2013

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Let him go to his mom. Ask him to stay there. You should get an attorney and an order of protection for yourself and your bank accounts. He is the one cheating so he is the one that should move out. If you think it will cause you and your kids to be placed in danger or manipulation then you should find an apartment. Apply for assistance if needed. Make a plan and stay strong. Further more. I have to say it cracks me up that he goes to him mothers. As if she is going to let h look ah porn in her house either. I'm sure she gets a bit suspicious when he locks himself in the bathroom for an hour and when he comes out the hand towels are all missing. He needs to have some respect for the women in his life.

Telzey - posted on 08/07/2013

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I guess I dont want them thinking it ok to do things like that . I guess Im just really nervous of doing it all alone. Although they are better behaved when he isn't there.
When I confront him about it he just made plan to go to his mothers house i never chased him away that to me was like walking out. I love the man but is it worth getting hurt so many time i dont believe he can change! His spitefulness is all that worries me now really I dont know how to keep the situation calm.

Firebird - posted on 08/07/2013

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I highly doubt that divorce would mess your kids up as badly as it would should you stay with your husband. Do you really want to teach them that his behaviour is acceptable?

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