Tanya - posted on 01/27/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
I was at a 5-day seminar last week with my husband while our two kids, age 1&3, stayed with their adoring grandma (husband's mother) at her house in our home town. On the second day, I left the seminar and came home to our kids while my husband stayed to complete the remaining days. At the time, I was very emotional and unsettled and felt like the kids staying in another home would add stress (this is what grandma wanted and I didn't mind up until that point. Do you guys see any difference in where your kids stay while you're away as far as how easily they adapt and recover when you return?
I felt like a wimp, honestly, and sort of doubted the rationality of my emotional reaction. I've left them for 2-3 nights in the past while they stayed at our house and I felt fine and they weren't obviously upset about it.
I found a research article yesterday that found a link between moms leaving a child under 2 and aggression and negativity at age 3. They found that the primary parent being absent for 7 days in a row was a good indicator that the child would show the negativity at age 3. Maybe you've heard of this, but it surprised me to see that such a short, vacation-length separation would have such a lasting negative effect on the attachment patterns. I feel much better about my decision to come home (especially with them staying away from home) and think 5 days might be just fine for other families depending on the situation, but I would like to hear from other moms who were away from their kids and if they did well or not when they stayed at someone else's house. Were they under 2?