Taking away the safety net

Yvonne - posted on 09/16/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have spent years providing my son a safety net and running interference for his poor decisions in life. At 63, I am burned out. He's 39 going on 13. There have been brief period's of peace but nothing long lasting. For my own health and sanity, I have to stop being his provider and protector. There is no one I can confide in because they just don't get Aspergers.

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Ev - posted on 09/16/2014

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I have to agree with Shawnn. He should have been more than ready to deal with things when he got to legal age or a bit past it. I have a son who is on the Autism spectrum but its something called PPO and I am not sure what that is supposed to mean but his is high functioning. At 17 currently, he is learning to be responsible for a lot of things. I started this long before we knew he had a form of Autism. He was vaccuming the bedroom he used at my house after he picked up the toys and things. As he got older he did dishes, learned how to fold clothing and put it away, cooking, doing his own laundry, following orders on how to do things and just recently had his first time cooking bacon alone at the house. He did a good job too as it was cooked just right and crunchy! You are near retirement age and my own parents are a few years older than you are. He should be looking out for you.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/16/2014

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Even if your son has been diagnosed with Aspberger's, it doesn't mean that he cannot fully function on his own. Mine does, and has for awhile now.

Yes, you do need to back off, and let him know that, as an adult (a HIGH functioning adult no less), you expect him to start taking ownership of his poor decisions, and responsibility for the consequences.

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