Alison - posted on 03/27/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
Our daughter has NOT been diagnosed with Autism, in fact we've not spoken to anyone about it yet, but starting to wonder if she could have it after doing some research on the net.
She frequently takes things, mostly food, (and always treats) from cupboards, fridge, freezer. I've found sweet/cake wrappers under her pillow in her pockets. The lining in her pockets was torn in both pockets. I sowed them up and within 1 week they were both torn again. This is where she hides things as it drops right down inside her coat. I have even caught her in our friends freezer and in our neighbours cellar where she has a freezer, I can only guess she was looking for ice cream as she denied even being in there, despite me having caught her and having to help her climb back out the window that she went in through. Which brings me to my next point.
She lies and denies anything and everything even when caught red handed. She is very devious and cunning.
She is very anti-social and had one very good friend who could do no wrong, everyone else can go to hell! If she sees anyone in the street she refuses to speak to them, will stand in silence at the bus stop rather than speak to someone who gets the same bus as her everyday.
She wont participate in class, despite being told by ALL her teachers at open day she needs to.
She is very content by herself and likes to read or put her headphones on and listen to music.
Yet, then theres another side of her where she'll get up on stage and sing karaoke, she was in the schools drama class and twice did a play on stage and wants to be an actress, which I find incredible, for someone who wont speak in a classroom.
She has no empathy for anyone or thing. If she treads on you it's your fault for having your foot where she wanted to go! She refuses to say sorry for anything, even for something slight and accidental. This is just polite manners, I'm not talking about confessing to major things that will mean punishments, which of course she wont do either.
She wont smile or offer any emotions, compared to her sister who will have a big grin on her face and throw her arms round you when she returns home from sch.
She is obsessive. First it was Harry Potter, for years, then Justin Bieber, now it's Aliens. She recently did a topic on Autism giving up each lunch break at school, which is mostly what has made us look at this.
She wont have a conversation she simply answers in a mumbled tone, often looking or walking in the other direction and when I don't hear her, which is often as I'm deaf in one ear, she gets very angry and tells me it's my fault. When asked to repeat it, she says "it doesn't matter".
Often she wont respond, I've always thought her sister just had better hearing and I used to call her sister to get tell her I wanted her as she just didn't answer, yet her hearing has been tested and is fine.
She exaggerates, twists things & changes accounts of happenings. Eg: As a punishment, she was banned from the computer one time except for doing homework which we made it quite clear she would have to be supervised by either parent whilst on the computer to do it. One evening we told her to do her homework and she created a huge argument over how she couldn't because we wouldn't allow her to so because she wasn't allowed on the computer.
Another time she was sent in to the room next door after another argument, which is accessed by going outside, but literally only 2 steps to the next door (but still in the same house). She changed this to she has been thrown out and wasn't allowed inside and instead stood in the garden in bare feet in the dark and refused to come in as she was allowed.
She's stolen things on many occasions from her friends, her classmates, my friends and when younger a shop and market stall. They are all little things, a keyring, earrings, a pen, a toy, but things that are not hers. When asked about it, she denies it.
She is very aggressive and argumentative at home, yet at school, she clams up and wont speak, to the point she was bullied not he school bus at one point and wouldn't tell anyone for several months and only when we really pushed it.
She wont share. She'll eat all her sweets in minutes then take her sisters as her's have gone. She'll give me a bar of chocolate for mothers day and then steal some of it. If I offer to share something that was a gift she'll take it without question, yet if her sister will say "no it's yours", she lays into her and calls her names, to make her take some.
She says she finds warm water very hot. She will wash up in what I find luke warm water and have a cool bath. I read people with autism can be sensitive to such things. She also is a fussy eater and something that used to be a favourite she now hates. I know tastes change, but just seems to be another symptom.
She is however good at learning, particularly languages, which I believe children with autism often struggle with, but then we live in France so it's something she has been subjected to from a very early age and had to learn to get by. She now currently does, French, English, German and Latin and in the past did Breton. She has just changed schools, but previously was expected to be top of the class after tests in french, which considering she is the only non-french child in her class is a good achievement.
We try very hard to treat the 2 equally, but she sees everything as "unfair" and always in her sisters favour even if sometimes it's in her favour.
She is jealous of anything her sister has, even if she has had it previously. Eg She'll be nasty before her sister goes on a sch trip, that she went on at the same age. If her sister wins a judo cup she'll make nasty comments if she hasn't also won the same or higher medal.
She created a hate campaign against against a boy she "hates" in her sch, sent him nasty messages via facebook etc, when he didn't reply she kept provoking him, she wouldn't stop talking about him to her friend, then she used a compass point to cut his name into her arm. Why do this about someone you hate? or is it reverse psychology? She can talk about him, without letting on she likes him?
From those of you with experience of this kind of behaviour, does this sound like autism or maybe something else?
I would be interested to hear from anyone experiencing similar problems or anyone that has received treatment of such things.