Tantrums

Monica - posted on 11/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 14 month old has been having tantrums for the past 2 weeks. If my husband or I say no to him he freaks out starts crying and screaming and kicking his feet. he also does that when he doesn't get what he wants. I usually try to just hug him an explain why he can't have his way but he just starts screaming louder till he gets distracted. Just curious what other moms would do in this situation?

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Kathy - posted on 11/14/2013

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It's normal for children this age to start having tantrums as they grow to discover their independence. Yes, the "terrible two's" can start at 14 months. You can let the tantrums control you or you can be in control. Because the child is upset, doesn't mean that you should get upset nor let him have what he wants so that you can have peace---because ultimately, you will have no peace with that choice.

If you've said to the child, "No, you cannot have a candy before supper" and he goes into a tailspin, your reaction at this point will determine his behavior in the future. First your calm reaction is that you have already given your answer and that's that. A tantrum is fueled by an audience. Keep doing what you're doing--vacuuming, washing the dishes, watching TV, reading--because if you stop because of the tantrum, you have given it control. At first it may seem to go on for longer than your nerves can handle but it will dwindle.

I used to walk off from my daughter and sometimes I would enjoy something she liked and talk to myself about them like: "Oh, I am so enjoying this Sleepy Squirrel book. Too bad Adrianne can't enjoy it with us."
Tantrums became shorter and then nonexistent in no time.
Bottom Line: Do not give power to the tantrum by giving it a reaction. Not even a hug of explanation, A hug is affirmation for desired behavior so ....

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