[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )
I am a single mom in my late twenties. My son just turned two; double the fun and double the tantrums. He has always been stubborn and strong willed. I see the good in it but I also understand that there has to be a point where he respects me; especially since I'm both mom and dad. I think I let the guilt of his dad not being around get to me, thus I tend to cater to him more than I should and give into his meltdowns. I reason with him and spend too much time and energy trying to figure him out.
Lately I'm to the point where I am physically and mentally exhausted. His father has never been involved, so it's always been just me. At first, I felt like super mom. I seemed to have everything under control, but as he gets older, I feel like I'm losing control and he's winning most of the time. It's important to me that he feels independent and confident, so when I try to stay firm with him I start doubting myself. I think, "am I depriving him" "will this affect his confidence"... I once felt like the best mom in the world and now I feel as though I am falling apart.
He's a great kid. He is smart and healthy and strong....and as any other two year old boy is, he is very curious and active. I want to find a balance. I'm very picky with him, as far as what he eats and how he plays whether its safe or not etc. I know for me to keep my sanity, I'm going to have to relax on some of my paranoia. I want to, but I also want a healthy balance. How do I discipline my toddler at two years old?
Example: We went to watch his cousins soccer game this morning. Normally I sit on the bleachers and I don't mind if he hangs around the area a little bit playing and stuff. But, he wont sit still. He quickly wanders off and does not listen to me when I ask him to stop or tell him no. I spent the entire time running around after him....I don't mind if he ran around close by but he wants to run where the kids are playing the game which isn't safe....he wants to run out of the gym where again, it isn't safe. So I couldn't even sit and watch the game. It was so frustrating that I just picked up my stuff and left. As I drove him, with my son kicking and screaming in the backseat, I broke down thinking "is this my life"...."will I have to just pick up and leave everywhere I go because I cant control my son?". How do I handle those kinds of situations. It's getting worst....he does this ALL the time. Everyday is a constant battle. I'm tired of arguing! It's so exhausting. I have no confidence because I feel like I don't know what I am doing and I cant get my son to behave. Don't get me wrong, he's sweet and he's not extremely disrespectful, he just wants to run off everywhere and do his own thing.
I give him plenty of attention, maybe too much. How much is too much anyways? I have no social life because all my free time goes to him and making sure he's getting plenty of time to play and try new things and burn his energy; but am I allowing him too much time to do whatever he wants? I don't want to be that mom and I don't want my son to be THAT kid.
Please help! I've tried everything. Time out is hard because he wont sit still and if I try to sit him in the chair repeatedly, he squirms and stiffens his legs so I cant get him to sit. What gives?