Teachers don't take my daughter's depression seriously.

Rebecca - posted on 12/11/2014 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My 12-year-old daughter is depressed, goes school counseling, but teachers don't think she's depressed. One thinks it's just puberty, but mainly, they think she has no melancholy because she's always a 'smiley' person. For example, she does all the chores around our house, always helping out younger kids at schools(such as opening up snacks), laughs, cares, etc. The teacher says a depressed, suicidal person wouldn't have a personality like that.
An SSW(Student Support Worker) took her outside of class and said it's dangerous, we do NOT say something like that, and the next time she brings the topic depression up, he will grab her by the arm and they will have a LONG talk w/ the principal in the principal's office. Advice?

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Jodi - posted on 12/11/2014

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So stop relying on the school to diagnose her! Go and get a proper psychologist to see her. You've posted about her here before and you mentioned that the school counselling is a youth worker. Youth workers ARE NOT QUALIFIED to diagnose depression. I've already advised you before, and I will say it again, get her booked in to a psychologist who deals with teenage mental health issues.

The teacher is also full of shit. There was a girl at my school who suicided a couple of months ago, and we never saw it coming. Not the teachers, not the youth workers, not the parents, no-one. There is no particular "personality" for depressed, suicidal, self-harming children. That teacher should be shot for believing that.

So instead of continually posting here about her depression and your concerns she is suicidal, be pro-active and do something about it. You will never forgive yourself if you don't and something happens.

Sarah - posted on 12/13/2014

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If you believe your child has a plan in place to end her life. You should be on the way to the hospital. Do not wait for an office visit. You would never forgive yourself if she hurt herself before the visit!

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Rowan - posted on 12/15/2014

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I've never had this problem before. I have two kids ages 12 and 6. My advice is to get her help. Thank god she's in a therapist meeting for kids now!!! God and I will be praying for you and her. My daughter is the same age as yours and I've experienced things about her...such as inappropriate photos....however I punish her every time.

Rebecca - posted on 12/15/2014

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Dear all,
She's at the clinic right now. It says Rebecca on my username? Sorry, but that's my daughter's name...she has insisted to do the dishes for me before going to the clinic. I told her that I can do that on my own, but she just insisted that she does it instead.
I just found out she was ready a book called 13 Reasons Why and it's about 13 reasons why people commit suicide and such. It's meant for older kids but she must've borrowed it anyways. Her favourite song is called Heavy Love by Serena Ryder. Before, she was never interested in any music, but now she is.

Abarragan24 - posted on 12/14/2014

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I actually grew up with depression because many reasons effect my illness got worse but treatments help better. But I stop using it because I have reasons but I doing good. Counselor help but sometime they don't help her n she d mad or won't said anything n change subjects.
I do same things however it r really private but it best for parents comfort and talk together then work it out . Ask her what made her happy or what upset her or what made her had depression get worse and she d tell you whole things , don't yell at her or tell negs or reply on her too much n it d make worse. I grew up n through bad situation but currently it was little better and get things straight . I recommand you take her to psychologist n counselor still but it d be nice to have family time and peace , fun time help her esteem better include games or pics with her or spend time more. With her. Make her feel not left out. And don't give her too much sympathy and it d make her feel she's awkward and do not like people know too much. Like I said I'm very private and it easier for me handle and still talk my parents it better also avoid lot issues or pressures if I hve issues or stress it trigger depression or anger or moody or other things got worse. You could learn her way and handle her also teAch her how to handle and she d follow ur lessons also pets help the depression relief or best friend spend time with her to enjoy too, I actually learn many things to handle years later. She d not follow doctor instructions or order but she d learn from you and make her understand. Do not said anything against her about her health issues it kind offensive sometime. my depression been diffcult but years later learn more and it improve by myself. relationship isn't easy with my illness sometime but it'll be ok.
You ll understand and research about help person with depression or living with depression stories or advice they have books . I learn lot from books and everything , understand why I have depression for life. Accept it.

Dove - posted on 12/13/2014

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There are many ways to end your life that don't involve needles or other sharp objects....

Sarah - posted on 12/13/2014

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Rebecca, like I said before, if you believe in your heart that your daughter has a plan to harm herself or end her life, she needs help immediately! Not tomorrow, not Monday, not in a week. Being scared of needles does not mean she is not cutting or doing other self harm. The pathology of phobias vs the compulsion to self injure are vastly different.
I hope you are either sitting with her every single moment or you consider taking her for emergency evaluation and possible admittance to a safe place.

Rebecca - posted on 12/13/2014

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Dear All,
There's life, there's still hope. She's not upset by this post, and she's willing to talk about it and it doesn't bother her. Even though my daughter says she's not going to hurt herself, it's not the truth.
She is scared of needles. It took her more than 10 minutes in the lab just to get a blood test, but I guess that's different..thanks all for support.

Linda - posted on 12/13/2014

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Sarah, my daughter is bipolar and tried to take her life. But she is doing great now. With medication and much prayer. There is hope, keep doing what your doing. I will keep you in my prayers.

Sarah - posted on 12/13/2014

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"I'm actually thinking my daughter DOES have a way to end her pain/life, that's why I booked the quickest time. She seems normal...sitting down, reading a book right now but I can tell by heart something is still wrong. "

Yes, go now.

Dove - posted on 12/13/2014

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I agree w/ Sarah... if you think she has a plan and especially if she's seen this post and it didn't upset her or she didn't want to talk about it... take her to the ER now.

Rebecca - posted on 12/13/2014

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Dear All,
She's seeing a professional therapist on Monday and also next Friday, and the same routine from now on..she said that the SSW was 'just upset and irritated'(that was from her own words a few minutes ago) and that she doesn't remember why because it was a long time ago.
The counselor has given me several addresses of offices where I can get help. They're for kids and teenagers. Free for 12 and under, and I think it's right for my daughter. Jodi, I'm terribly sorry about the student at your school. I can't imagine my life without my child.
I'm actually thinking my daughter DOES have a way to end her pain/life, that's why I booked the quickest time. She seems normal...sitting down, reading a book right now but I can tell by heart something is still wrong.
I'm shocked that she saw this post too. She said that she saw it when she was on the computer, and I told her that I am writing this post to get her help and advice, not gossiping. She does have a weird way to act happy...

Sarah - posted on 12/12/2014

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I don't understand. What did she say the the SSW is upset about?

I have to back up the other posts, depression in adolescents is a complex illness and should be diagnosed and treated by an adolescent psychiatrist.

Dove - posted on 12/12/2014

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In addition to what Jodi has posted... I know that 'sometimes' seriously suicidal people ARE happy... because they have a plan to end their pain.

Don't mess around here... get her in to see an actual professional asap.

Dove - posted on 12/11/2014

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Has your daughter been diagnosed by an actual psychologist?

The teacher will get grabbed by the arm... or your daughter?

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