Teachers grabbing a 3rd grader arm.

Tammy - posted on 04/11/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is on 3rd grade. In English they had a homework assignment. They had time to start it in class but he refused an pushed his book off desk. When he wouldn't go to the office the secretary grabbed his arm an squeezed it hard an left a mark. Should she have done that?

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Ev - posted on 04/12/2016

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Tammy--you never mentioned that he was suspended and the teacher would have known he had been if he has to stay at home for his behavior. Frankly, though, if the secretary was the one grabbing his arm and leaving marks, that should be looked into. No one should leave a mark on a child when trying to get them to do anything. As for your son's behavior as Megan said--is a good idea to do for him to see how he acted and what his actions were but there should be no laughing about it.

Megan - posted on 04/11/2016

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Hi Tammy, the momma bear in us wants to protect our cub! And thats is our job... but take a deep breath and be sure you are calm when you touch base with the secretary. Think it through... what exactly would you have preferred that she do if your son was being defiant? Let the teacher and secretary and principal know that you do not condone your sons behavior and that he will be apologizing, HOWEVER you are uncomfortable with his arm being grabbed and squeezed.
Also VERY IMPORTANT...The lesson that your son learns here needs to be big and bold. Pushing your book off of the desk and refusing to go to the office are not acceptable behaviors. I suggest trying role playing with your son asap. He's the teacher and you're the student and he has to give you the english homework... then you react just like he did, push the book, be ornery, if he tells you to go to the office have a pretend tantrum. Then ask him what he thinks he should do ... he's the teacher. Let him see his behavior acted out. Hopefully you'll have a laugh together but he will see that inconsiderate behavior like that is not acceptable. also why did he push the book? ask him. There is no excuse, but maybe the book or assignment seemed too hard, which would help you understand his frustration. Then let him know that he must apologize for pushing the book and refusing to go to the office. He can write an apology note or you can take him to the teacher and hear his apology. Don't make excuses for your childs bad behavior but try to get at the root of the reaction. I highly recommend these books for helping parents to understand their childs ages and stages http://amzn.to/1qFatmf Parenting is definitely the toughest job you'll ever have but overcoming lifes challenges together is so rewarding. Let him know your his number one fan, and because its best for him you'll help him redirect disrespectful behavior.

Jodi - posted on 04/11/2016

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I agree that your son shouldn't have been dragged by the arm, but you should also be concerned about his behaviour as well. I would encourage you to discuss the matter with the school, but honestly, time to implement some discipline in your own child as well. Non-compliance is also not acceptable.

Tammy - posted on 04/11/2016

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K. His teacher didn't even know he was suspended. Thats how well they communicate. I know he misbehaved but she left marks on his arm trying to drag him to the office.

Ev - posted on 04/11/2016

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You need to call the school and talk to the teacher and principal and find out what was going on and address it.

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