Teen Age Daughter and dating

SALLY - posted on 09/14/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I left a bad marriage after 25 years and my daughter has trust issues. Trying to empower her not to make bad decisions based on her feelings alone. She should not get into a going steady relationship but make relationships based on trust and mutual respect. How to find her balance....Opinions ??

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Guest - posted on 09/14/2014

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Having re-read your post, I don't think I understand what you mean by the phrase "make relationships based on trust..."
Trusting another person is VERY dangerous. I don't think anyone should trust another person.

I do agree with basing a relationship on personal respect. If members of a relationship truly respect each other, they will treat each other with such respect, but they should still refrain from sharing any information about themselves which could potentially be used to cause pain or harm.

Guest - posted on 09/14/2014

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What do you mean "trust issues?" There are so many ways that trust, or the craving to trust, can be an issue or create issues totally apart from it.

If she is trusting other people, sometimes getting hurt once or twice will teach her not to trust other people. Unfortunately, that is very painful, but it is the pain that teaches the lesson. Unfortunately as well, there are a lot of people who crave the ability to trust someone--they feel a need to have someone in their lives with whom they can share their secrets and fears and faults. Obviously, it is never a good idea to share deeply personal information with another person, or to show another person our weaknesses, fears, or faults, but if she is such a person who needs to share those things with someone, a licensed therapist or doctor is a good fit because they are bound by law not to share anything she shares with them with anyone else, or to use that information in a way that could inflict harm or pain for her or anyone around her.

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