teen cousins obligated to entertain toddler nephews

Mena - posted on 02/05/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm curious...is it fair to my 16 yr old 14 yr old to be judged for not engaging with 6yr old & under cousins for lengthy periods of time at family functions?

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Andrea - posted on 02/05/2014

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I feel even if it is a family function, it is nice for the older kids to play with the younger ones to give moms and dads a little time to visit, talk and get a little down time.. That being said I do not expect my older family members to chase, watch or entertain my kids the whole time.. It is our jobs as parents to play, chase and keep an eye on our kids.. They are our responsibility not the older cousins...
Most of my family members are much much older then my kids as the youngest cousin on my side is 16, and they are mostly 2nd cousins.. my kids are 6 years old, 5 years old and 1 years old..
Take care and best wishes...

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014

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No, your relatives shouldn't assume they'll have a sitter, either. But, you didn't indicate that family functions were an every day thing, either. Our family get togethers happened on the holidays, so maybe 1/2 dozen times a year. And currently, since all of the great grands passed away, we don't have a full family shindig that my kids play jungle gym at, but up until last year, it was the 'norm'.

If the older kids are occupied, the younger should (by now) know how to entertain each other with minimal adult supervision.

Andrea - posted on 02/05/2014

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Not at all.. Your "kids" are old enough to make some say as to if they want to entertain the little ones.. They should not have to hear rude comments or feel as though they are being judged..
We live right next door to my husband's Cousins and their 4 boys who was 17,16,14,11 so they see each other every day and I do not expect the boy to play with my kids all the time, I never say anything if the old boys don't want to play I just keep working on teaching my kids to play together or independently.. Like I said before it isn't the old kids responsibility to entertain the younger kids.. They should not be judged or rude comments made just because they would like to have big "kid" time.. I would honestly bring it up in a positive way, saying you know my older one are going to be doing " whatever" so they are not going to be able to play with the kids this time when we meet up.. I mean at 14 and 16 I am sure they like to spend some time with the little ones but I know at 14 and 16 you feel like I am to old, this is boring, why can't they play by them self some.. ECT... I understand how stressful it can feel to hear some one close say something negative about our kids mama bear is like are you kidding.. Just talk with the family member and explain how it makes your kids feel, that or have your kids just say how they are feeling.. I know it is family and no wants to upset anyone, but they don't need to hear or feel judged.. Take care and best wishes...

Mena - posted on 02/05/2014

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My only problem is that we see each other ALOT!!!! Live in the same town, etc. So when we are all together its not like we haven't seen each others in months...it may be a day or week. My kids are 16 & 14...the rest of the kids are 6 and under. My kids do entertain and play with them for the most part. Its when my kids don't participate they are getting judged and comments are being made about them. Is this correct?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014

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LOL...Its a family function. Older kids generally 'look after' or entertain the younger ones.

I did, when I was growing up, and was the eldest cousin, my cousins did after I married, and now my 16 & almost 20 year old play jungle gym for their younger cousins.

And, does it REALLY hurt them to do so, in the grand scheme of things? Nope.

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