Teen Dating

VICKY - posted on 04/29/2016 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My daughter is seventeen and a Jr in high school and has been in six relationships since the eighth grade , with lots of healthy guy and girls friends . Usually the boys break it off with her because she wants to move too slow but she has been the "dumper" in the last two 3 mo relationships . She feels so relived when it's over I have to remind her to be sensitive to the guy's feelings!! One guy dropped off a box full of memntos with a letter saying you are my whole world :( She said he did it out of spite not love and who says you're my whole world after three months !!! I was bawling my eyes out . I didn't think kids that age could be so manipulative I guess . She almost comes across "cold" and it concerns me as I was a "clinger to the death " ! Lol I think I have convinced her to enjoy her senior year on her own . Like the other moms I have suffered through each and every one of her relationships and even got friendly with the parents! My question is do you think It's ok for her to move on so quicky ?

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Jodi - posted on 04/29/2016

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This is why children shouldn't date until they are old enough to actually develop mature, functional relationships with the opposite sex. Six relationships by the time she is 17 is a lot. She has clearly not yet learned to develop a sustainable relationship with anyone meaningful. Instead, she has relationship "hopped" like I see many teens do these days just because they feel they need to have a boyfriend, not because they actually want to develop a relationship with the person.

You need to teach your daughter that being single is okay, and in fact, at her age, relationships should only be happening if there is a genuine connection, and it shouldn't be too serious.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2016

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My oldest, at 22 has yet to have more than a casual outing. No girlfriends for him yet. My youngest, 18, being the big, soft-headed kid he is has been taken by one girl after another for his generosity. As soon as he realizes it, he stops spending on them, and they drop him like a potato! I'd love to have your (well raised) daughters around! (Or Jodi's , or Evelyn's...)

At least then I would know they're raised like mine, with the same values!

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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Neither of my kids were allowed to date before the age of 16 and my daughter turned 16 during sophomore year of high school but did not begin to date until fall of junior year. I was 16 before I was allowed to date. I figured it was a good enough age. My son has yet to go on a first date with any woman.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2016

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@ Amanda: Probably because Maryanne has determined for her children that 17 will be the age that they will be allowed to date. I agree with both her, and Jodi.

My reasoning is I'm tired of 15 and 16 YO girls using my sons for cash. 15 and 16 YO girls are highly capable of being inconsiderate bitches.

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Sarah - posted on 08/20/2016

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I am late to the party but chiming in anyway. I agree, no dating until 16 and then it is a case by case basis. The only exception made was a young lady asked my eldest to go to homecoming his freshman year of high school. That one date was permitted out of kindness to her feelings.

Dove - posted on 07/08/2016

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lol Shawnn! :)

My girls mainly hang out w/ guys (they do have a few good girl friends, but most of their friends are guys). Them being gorgeous teen girls... naturally I worry... but then they start telling me about the attitudes and behaviors of most of the teen girls that they know... and they reassure me that I don't need to worry about them unless they start telling me that they are hanging out w/ the girls. lol My girls would much rather surf and play soccer or video games than all the teen girl drama nonsense. ♥

They do like guys, but as far as dating them... 'Mom, they are SOOO stupid' was the comment I got the last time that topic came up.

Maryanne - posted on 04/29/2016

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👏👏👏👏👏
Well Stated Jodi!
Many of us as mothers look around at the children are own are surrounded by daily and do NOTHING but stand in fear of our own children surrcuming to the rebellious generation they are born of...and yet as those moms do and say nothing, their children slip through their own fingers....It is hard as a mom to understand, but at least impossible for me to do.

Dove - posted on 04/29/2016

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I'm not allowing dating under 16 years of age (and then it's up to them if they are ready or not)... and, so far, my 14 year old twin daughters agree w/ me. They would much rather hang out w/ guys in groups and surf, play soccer, or play video games w/ them than deal w/ all the dating nonsense. They think the kids their age that date and have sex are complete idiots.

Preteens/young teens are simply not well equipped for the emotional roller coaster of one on one relationships... no matter how mature they seem.

Maryanne - posted on 04/29/2016

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I have 3 girls, 11, 13, & 15...
My 15 yr old desperately wants to date, but that is not okay whatsoever in our home and it won't be until she is 17, or later depending on if when she is 17 she is mature enough to handle such experiences that will effect her emotional stability for the rest of her life.

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