Teen Daughter

Luv My - posted on 05/20/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter has just turned 15 and has been struggling with her grades all year. She is a freshman in High school. She has missed a lot of days (not a huge amount about 10 days this year) because of minor things, such as headaches, stomach aches, cramps etc. When I keep her home she seems OK after the morning. I have been making her go unless she is really sick because I know that she is behind.

Recently she has broken up with a boy friend and has called me to take her out of school because she can't stop crying. I have suggested that she talk to a counselor or teacher at school, but she said that she does not want to. I don't want her sitting there crying all day, but if she was crying all day wouldn't the teacher notice and say something? I know that she is upset and it's only been a couple of days, but is this normal teenage behavior? Should I take her out of school?

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Enchantment - posted on 05/20/2013

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That is completely normal for her age. I honestly don't delegates fifteen yr old should have a boyfriend bc they don't know how to deal with their emotions as an adult would and even we may have a hard time coping. I would sit and talk to her as her mom and let he know that u will be there for her and that her education is more important than a boyfriend would ever be. Stress the part that u know she is hurting and to help her with that maybe u can plan an outing for just the 2 of u. Like a girl's day out to the get manicures and possibly pedicures, followed by a movie or nice dinner. Which ever u prefer.Many times teenagers just need to understand that their parent can also be their best friend. Try this if it seems like something u want to take a hit at and let us know how it goes. Good luck and hopefully she'll come around soon. :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2013

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Nope. Don't pull her out even for today. She has to learn to deal with things. Sorry, but not happening if you caudal her. Of course be there for her when she comes home, but seriously, she needs to learn how to deal with life. There will not always be a bail out.

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Luv My - posted on 05/20/2013

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Thank you for your great advice. We are good friends, that is why it just broke my heart to see her sitting in class crying. I did take her out yesterday when he broke up with her and we drove around for hours and just talked, then we went to the movies. Today was just especially hard for her going to school. I did stick to my guns and did not allow her to leave school. She texted me later on in study hall and again wanted me to come and get her because she had nothing to do and didn't know the kids. I told her that I loved her, but she needed to find something to do on her own to get her mind off her troubles. and I would see her when she got home. Well she came home smiling and showed me a picture that she drew during study hall and a bunch of inspirational sayings that she wrote. I was so proud of her for sticking it out and I told her so. Hopefully it will get easier!

Thanks again for all your help! I just didn't know what to do because I knew that she was hurting.

Luv My - posted on 05/20/2013

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Thanks, no I didn't say that I was going to pull her out of school completely. I just wanted to know if I should take her out today because she is sitting in class crying. I agree that 10 days is a lot for minor things, but It's gotten to the point where I'm not sure if it's minor anymore.

Amy - posted on 05/20/2013

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10 days is a lot if school to miss for minor things! My 7 year old complains about stomach things I still send him to school, I tell him to go to the nurse if he doesn't feel well when he gets to school.

I would not let her stay home because she broke up with her boyfriend! It's not a valid reason to not go to school. And why in the world would you pull her out if school completely? Are you going to homeschool? She's 15 you are going to have to get control of this situation because you have at least 3 more years of this to deal with it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2013

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Also, if she is falling behind in school, get her a tutor, and if she does not snap out of this with her boyfriend, and she spirals into a real depression (not just a poor me thing) then yes, she needs to see a counselor. Seriously, it sounds like she is taking advantage...she knows how to work you.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2013

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It is normal teenage behavior to try and take advantage of your parents. Yes. Is it normal for her to be upset about her boyfriend? Yes. Is it normal for her not to be able to function and go to school? No. Is it normal that she cannot go to school because of a headache or a stomach ache? Nope...not unless it is a migraine, or a virus. Girl is taking advantage of you. Put your foot down.

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