Teen mom going through postpartum depression , help !

Kaitlyn - posted on 09/08/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Hey I'm 17 and just had a baby girl 3 weeks ago . I thought when I had her I'd feel so happy and joyful to see her and hold her and care for her . But the last week it's just been so overwhelming and all I do is cry . Every time I pick her up I just regret having her . I wanna love her so badly , but each day my feelings get worse and worse . Is this normal ? Ppl tell me it is , but I just don't know .

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Amelia - posted on 09/10/2013

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I was a teen mum and suffered with this. I found talking about what I was feeling and seeing a councillor was very helpful. Many women especially teen mums go through this. I found taking each day as it came and just talking and believe it or not even writing a diary can help.

It does get better I've since had five more kids since my first and come to recognise the symptoms. If they do crop up. Just remember you can do this and even though you feel like you don't love your baby you do it's just depression clouding you judgement but that cloud will lift and will go away.

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Marie - posted on 09/24/2013

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Oh, poor you. I'm sorry about the surgery. You definitely have had a rough go of it. I hope you heal quickly.

I recently started taking B6 and magnesium, and I'm finding my anxiety (not postpartum but other hormone drama) reduced greatly. I would encourage you to speak with the nutritionist while in the hospital to see if you are deficient in anything and should supplement.

Hugs to you and your sweet girl.

Kaitlyn - posted on 09/24/2013

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Hii I'm doing a lot better , I'm helping out with her more and I feel more close to her nowadays (: I'm currently in the hospital , but I miss her soo much ! I had to get my gall bladder removed . I'm in some pain , but not at all what I was feeling before .

Marie - posted on 09/16/2013

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Hi Kaitlyn:

I've been thinking about you and wondering how you and your daughter are doing. Update when you can.

Hugs.

Marie - posted on 09/10/2013

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It's hard. And, as you say, I don't see negative feelings about your child at all. Your feelings about her are separate from missing your old life or regretting circumstances. For example, I regret every day lately that I ever met my kids' father...but I wouldn't change it because I love my kids so much.

How you feel is temporary and will change. You will heal. This is not your fault. Remember that your hormones and fatigue are going to mess with feelings. Keep choosing right actions. Feelings lie. Actions are what speak.

Kaitlyn - posted on 09/10/2013

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Thank you everyone for helping me understand . I understand now that I'm not the only one going through this and I can relate to having that feeling of wanting my " old " life back . Yous are so right I do love her . I just regret it all . But I think as she gets older my feelings towards her will change , hopefully .

S - posted on 09/09/2013

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Hi
I tried for years to finally have my little boy 9 weeks ago, but as soon as I had him I was extremely overwhelmed and scared questioning myself-can I do this??!!! I thought it was just the initial shock to the change of everything but 9 weeks on I have days where I feel fed up, sad, wanting to cry for no real reason and I find myself snapping at my husband for no reason! Part of me misses my 'old' life before my son was here and I feel dreadful for thinking that and for feeling sad! Although I'm just coming to terms with being honest about I'm actually feeling I can tell you that you are not alone, you are not a bad mummy and you are doing the right thing talking about it! I just need to tell myself this :) good luck and be proud of yourself for recognising what your going through and getting help!

Marie - posted on 09/09/2013

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Hi Kaitlyn:

Your love for your daughter is so clear from your original post and follow up. Never a doubt, And I'm glad you said you have no thoughts of hurting her, but I also never thought you did. My hope was that those links would show the differences between the various possible mood disorders. Your deep love for your child comes through clearly in your writing.

I understand the deep love and the not wanting, those conflicting feelings. Very painful to deal with. And I don't judge at all... no one should. No one wants to feel like you describe, like I experienced, It's hormones. It's not your fault. You can heal.

I will share that I developed PPP (along with PPD and PPA) and my treatments involved with medication, (I required medication to kick start some normal sleep patterns along with an antidepressant), vitamins, and cognitive behavioral therapy.

Much love to you and your daughter. Good luck with your doctor's appointment. Be totally honest, request help and referrals to resources, and see if maybe the doctor thinks blood work to look at vitamin levels could help you.

All my best, FSM

Kaitlyn - posted on 09/09/2013

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I am going to see a doctor I have one already I'm just gonna up my meds cause I already take depression meds . And I have all these feelings , but I would never do anything to harm my daughter . I do love her , I just don't want her sometimes . But I'm gonna try walking and eating better cause I feel I'll just feel better if I start doing those things .

Marie - posted on 09/09/2013

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First of all, big hugs to you. I'm glad you are seeking help. No need to suffer silently. I've been there, and it's a tough place. A new baby is very challenging, as other posters have said. As a first time Mom, you have stresses and worries about "how you're doing" and "is this right"? I remember. Something I encourage you to do is trust yourself and your child to help guide you in her care. As for your care, also trust yourself, and if you feel something isn't right, pursue answers.

It wasn't a smooth transition to motherhood for me, and the "lala...happy mommy" ideas of society were an internal struggle since I didn't feel happy at all. I was just exhausted and depleted and hormonal.


Feeling isolated, alone, or depleted really can make the concerns of every new Mom feel more intense. Crying and struggling to stop can also be hormonal. 80% of women experience the Baby Blues. Post Partum Depression is diagnosed in 20-25 % of women. The other Post Partum Mood Disorders are less discussed, in general. Here is a great link to explanations: http://www.postpartum.net/Get-the-Facts.... (Great site with excellent forums and support.) This chart helps show the differences between baby blues and PPD http://www.outofthevalley.org/ppdinfo but doesn't include PPAnxiety or PPOCD. It helps to understand that there are multiple diagnoses and treatments.

Are you getting any sleep? Proper nutrition? These two things can tip the scales for any new Mom. Sometimes vitamins and sleep can get things under control. Do you have help? Do you maybe need to get out with friends? Socializing can help with feelings of isolation. Other times, a therapist and full physical are the way to go...actually, that is the way to go every time if things feel "off." A doctor that really understands PPMDs will be very helpful.

Please know you are not alone. Others are here to help and that there are resources to support you and your daughter.

Hugs to you both. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Gena - posted on 09/09/2013

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Maybe you should go see a doctor and tell them how you feel..I didnt feel like that but i know somebody that had postpartum depression and she needed help.Good luck and dont be to hard on yourself..things will be ok.

Kaitlyn - posted on 09/08/2013

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Thank you , but I feel like I shouldn't be feeling like this . I really wanna be happy , but I don't ever feel " happy " when I'm around her . You think that will change as she gets older ? I really hope soo . I wanna love her as much as I can I mean I'm her mom . I should be loving her .

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You just had a baby not a small feat for heaven sake. Give yourself a break hon. Yes alot of new mommys cry quite a bit. I know I did ...it your body, hormones, trying to get back to gear. You held a living being inside your body for 9 months now you got to get back to your regular self. Don't be too hard on yourself hon. Just get plenty of rest, eat good and have some kind of support.

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