Teen mommy!

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/06/2016 ( 33 moms have responded )

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anny teen mommy's wanna be pen pals?? im 17 and im pregnant again.. i dont know how i feel about many things rn... could use a friend in the same position

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Sarah - posted on 07/08/2016

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I am curious why you chose to parent again so soon? Not critical, curious. When your know how challenging it is to parent one child (and I had four, under great financial and supportive circumstances so don't tell me it was a breeze). Why not wait until you were married, finished with school and well established in your career? People forget that fathers who work nights need to sleep during the day and cannot be reliable childcare providers. Since your choice was deliberate, I am curious why?
I look at my 17 yo daughter, a virgin, having such fun and wonder why anyone would give up that time to raise kids?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2016

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Jacqueline, dove and Evelyn, and Sarah...are all giving you very valid input that you seem to be quite willing to ignore in favor of your own rainbows and unicorns vision. You would do well to take their comments as the advice they are, not as the criticism you want to read into them. I can't add anything to their advice,except to say that you are exhibiting the desire to have children to feel loved. This indicates a serious void in your life that would better be addressed with professional counseling.

My only other input for you is this: hopefully you are mature enough to foster a relationship between these children and their respective father's, as that is the children's right.

You cannot dictate who can or cannot respond in here. You have to take the blunt responses along with the cushy ones and live with it. That, child, is reality.

Sofia, you also cannot dictate responses, and telling a poster "not to listen" to valid input is counterproductive.

Dove - posted on 07/08/2016

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I wanted to be a mom since I was 14 years old. That's the ONLY thing I've ever wanted to be... and yes, I wanted to be a mom for the same reasons you mention (the wanting love stuff). I became a mom for the first time at 25 and I am SOOOO glad I never had kids any earlier for my own selfish reasons... because life as a mom isn't about what I want or how I feel... it is 100% about what is best for them.


You do not get to dictate who responds to you or how we respond. I'm sorry you are bothered by the blunt truth of life. Yes, you absolutely do need help and support, but you also need a big dose of reality before you keep bringing more kids into this world for your own selfish desire... because there's more to life than just you... it's them too.

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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Jacqueline--I still do not think you realize how hard you and your kids are going to have it. Babies grow up. They do not stay little long. Also teen moms and kids have a higher chance at poverty unless the mom does her best to work hard to make things better. And there is more to parenting that just feeling like you have worth and needed. You should really find other ways to feel worth and being needed like volunteering instead of having babies.

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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Dove--yes, both my kids are adults now and my youngest one is 5 years older than your oldest ones. My oldest is 26 and a mom of two.

Jacqueline--Regardless of what your circumstances are with or without father in the picture you still do not know what the world is going to be like for you. You have been in your parents home this whole time. And the father is not always guarented to stay around either. Also there is the being able to provide what your kids will need, having a job to support them, finishing your education, and so many more things I doubt you have thought of. I had my first at 21 and in a lot of ways I was still not ready to have kids and I was married and working. Your maturity really shows when you brush off what we are trying to tell you things are going to be like. Having kids is not just something you do because you want to--that is the wrong thought when deciding to have kids. They take up so much of your life because it is not about you anymore.

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Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/12/2016

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okay thank you for your comments dove and shawnn. i appreciate and understand where you both are comming from. i ove`r reacted at first and its clear to me now. i apologize.

Dove - posted on 07/08/2016

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OK... I reread a response to me that the OP is looking for encouragement and help.

You have a child and another one on the way, so there is no changing that. Probably the BEST thing you could do for them (and yourself) is to seek some counseling... and I don't say that to hurt or belittle you, but as someone that sought counseling for myself as an adult... and went off and on for a good 4ish years. It was GREAT to have a support person that I could just sit and talk to... about anything.

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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Jacqueline, this is a open form and anyone can post where they want to. It is also international and you will find people will have opinions you do not like.

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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obviously i have not been clear with my feelings. and i thnki made my point, you need to go now. thanks.

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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sarah--i chose to be a parent again because it makes me feel worth, i love feeling needed. i love that i can help someone. i love that it makes me feel so not alone. im not sure if it makes any sence but although yes parenting is difficult, it definatley pays off. being a parent is a reward in its self. all that "teen fun" is of no intrest to me.

evelyn-- i feel that your opinions have become no more than irrelavant and unwanted.

sofia-- oh okay, and kinda, i joind a teen mommy suport group on wednesdays :)) and thank you, yes your suport helps so so much!

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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I just hope you know how much you are giving up having kids so young. You are loosing out on doing the things teens want to do before they actually have bigger responsiblities than going to school, doing what is expected of them at home and son on.

Sofia - posted on 07/08/2016

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I don't know where that forum is, have you thought of finding a place local? Seeing people in person so you know you will really get the help and support you need and not get hurt in the process. I can provide support if it helps.

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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no need to apologize. its not you who is telling me im doing wrong. and yeah clearly, i saw a lot of the posts and saw some teen moms on here, i figured it would all be helpful and suportive. and no i havent, how do i contact them?? and im 100% keeping! im aware they are valid, but i would never get pregnant on purpose just to abort or adopt. i love my kids more than anything

Sofia - posted on 07/08/2016

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She was Jumped on right away ladies. She never had a chance to explain- regardless-Neither of your opinions are wanted here. I ask both of you to leave this poster alone.

Sofia - posted on 07/08/2016

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I'm sorry,
This is absolutely not necessary. I'm sorry you have to read that. Don't listen to her. Unfortunately, the people we think will help us to most- don't. Have you tried local services that put you in touch with teen Mommies? Do you plan to keep, adopt-abort? These are all valid question.

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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i undersand that dove. but she could be less harsh.
its happend/happening i dont need to hear that im screwing up or whatever. i need encouragment and help, not hurt. im sorry that you two dont like my choices by i am my own person.

Dove - posted on 07/08/2016

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There is a difference between blind support... and realistic support.

I do not care how mature a person thinks they are or how together they think they are or what plans they have for the future... having a second child when you are young enough that you shouldn't even have a first... is setting yourself up for a very rough life.

Evelyn has children older than the OP (right?), so she is coming at this from the perspective of a concerned parent.

My older two are a bit younger than the OP... but if they planned a child (not to mention a second child) at only 17 years old I would think they had completely lost their minds...

Yes, her life, her choice and the baby is already coming... but when you are a mother of kids old enough (or older) to be the OP... you respond as such.

Sofia - posted on 07/08/2016

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Evelyn,
You are stating the obvious and she knows, she needs help, friendship and guidance. You are not helping.
What to do?

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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woaahhh k, the father is around thanks. i never said he wasnt. and if you could not make asumptions on my life id areciate it. i gauruntee you arent an A+ parent.

and thanks sofia, i guess your right

Sofia - posted on 07/08/2016

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The best thing is to get an education---like you are. If you have time, take some short skills courses, perhaps online, while you wait to go to College. Keep your focus! Xoxo

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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Sofia--I am not being mean or trying to be but this girl needs to understand that at her age she does not really know what she is about to get into with 2 kids and no father around to help her. She is only 17 years old. She has not yet learned what the world is like.

Sofia - posted on 07/08/2016

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It seems you won't get the support or friendship you need here. Perhaps look for a forum that is supportive of teen mommies

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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i grew up way to fast, i was a baby taking care of babies. i was forced to be responsible and grown up before any kid should in my opinion. i dont feel that i need to go into depth about my parenting skills. i do have a job, i work at a nursing home, its not the best job but my boyfriend has a better job. i am living in my boyfriends house. i do plan to finish school, and go to conestoga and be a paralegle. i limited my friends when i was pregnant the first time, i knew i needed to not hang out with the party-ers and the drama queens.
my boyfriend works only at night, leaving him the day to take care of the baby

Ev - posted on 07/08/2016

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What makes you think you are ready to parent a child? Do you have a job to support your kids? Do you have a place to live? Do you plan to finish school? Do you plan to go out with friends---who takes care of your kids?

Jacqueline Abby - posted on 07/08/2016

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im not pregnant by accident. i am because i want to be. im ready. im responsible. evelyn im sorry that my choices bother you. sofia thank you for being understanding.

Sofia - posted on 07/06/2016

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Yes of course, I get your point... this young lady is looking for some advise and friendship. Admonishing her won't help.
Op---please tell us about yourself and why you're pregnant again and what situation you find yourself in.

Ev - posted on 07/06/2016

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Sofia--
She is a 17 year old who has one already and is again expecting. I asked why she is pregnant again.

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