Teen pregnancy

Eniya - posted on 01/18/2015 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I'm 17 about to be 18 in 3 weeks. I'm still in high school , I graduate in June im also 4 and 1/2 weeks pregnant. I went to the clinic and found out last Friday , I told the baby's father but he wasn't excited about it. He wants me to abort it because he doesn't want a baby . We had drunk sex one night which was a mistake but I'm starting to think my baby wasn't a mistake. I don't want him to feel like I'm traping him , and I don't want my family to judge me. I told my mom , but I know my dad & everyone else in my family will disapprove. I don't want anyone's decision to affect if I want to keep my baby or not but I don't know if I should just listen to everyone else or follow my gut. Please don't judge me

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Dove - posted on 01/20/2015

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The good news is that you will graduate before you are due.

I can not tell you what you should or should not do, but I will tell you that my stepsister was in your almost exact situation... My niece is 10 now and we can't imagine life w/out her. My stepsister also got married (to another guy... bio-father has never laid eyes on my niece) 4 years ago to an amazing man and they have a 1 year old son together.

Teen pregnancy is rough...especially if you don't have much of a support system, but you CAN do this if it is what you want.

Ev - posted on 01/19/2015

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I am glad to be of help. But please remember that though he says right now he is not ready that one day he may decide to want to be in the child's life. So some other points to think about is that if you put him on the birth certificate is that you should think of setting up custody and child support so he is held responsible for that much. Visitation will also be set to but it is up to him to keep those visits. But this is just advice down the road.

Elisel - posted on 01/19/2015

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I was 17(june 2001) when I became pregnant. however I had just graduated HS 3 weeks prior. I considered many/all my options. I chose to keep it. However my childs father was 21 and we eventually got married. it was never ever a fairy tale. we had 1 more child but after 12 yrs of marriage it ended.
Nothing in life is a promise or a guarantee.
find out what your resources are. pro/con list. and enlist any/all support. maybe childs father isn't a big help but you never know, his parents might be!

Ev - posted on 01/19/2015

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I am sorry that you are in this and the father wants that baby to be aborted because he does not want the baby. Just a note to let you know: In some states or countries abortion at this time frame of pregnancy is against the law so you might not even have that option if you were thinking of it though it seems like you are not. You said you were to be 18 in a few weeks. At that point, depending where you live because you did not say you were from the States, you are a legal adult and NO ONE can tell you what to do with your pregnancy or child. Do as the other ladies suggested and find someone you can trust to talk to. If you are still in high school, go talk to one of your teachers that you trust or the school guidence counselor. The school nurse could also be a good resource to help you find the resources to help you through this pregnancy for things like prenatal care, walk you through what happens when labor and birth come along, and to answer what other questions you might have as far as health concerns. Seek the support of the family. It might take dad a bit of time to come around but if you have good relationships with mom and dad they should not be too upset very long with you. Also weigh your options. If you decide to give the child up for adoption let the father know so you both can sign the paperwork. There are a lot of things to think about here. Just take them one at a time.

Brittany - posted on 01/19/2015

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I commend you for your desire to do the right thing in a difficult situation. Babies are not mistakes, they are gifts from God. This is your decision, it may be tough at first but if you feel like you are supposed to raise the baby than God will priovde for you and it may be tough at first but people usually come around. I know of a place you can call for free counseling if you are interested.

Live, Laugh, and Cantor on

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Paige - posted on 01/20/2015

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Some states require a medical professional (not just a Planned Parenthood clinic that confirms you are pregnant) to examine the mother and confirm viability before the mother can abort. The kicker being, most doctors will not get you in until 8 weeks (and that's if you are lucky or are considered high risk); the general rule of thumb is first appointment is between 10 and 12 weeks. In some states, it is illegal to terminate at that point. So, you have to wait to see the doctor, but by the time you are confirmed, you are past your state's allowance for abortion. It's the legal way they prevent abortions.

Diane Kay - posted on 01/20/2015

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I am 19 and my son will be born soon, I have a one year old daughter. I too was pregnant at 17. I do not ever believe in abortion, your correct on not treating the fetus as a mistake. The unborn child is a gift rather received a unexpected way. I get that the male who helped bring this child does not want to settle with a little one, if you do then keep the baby. But if you do not think you will be able to care of the unborn child as finances go, then I would highly consider adopting the baby out. Some couples that adopt will still give a open mind to allowing you to get updates.

Me personally, I would keep the child because having a child changes a person a lot. I was not the best of person when my daughter was born, but I have changed for her because she saved my life. Yes being a mother is so hard, and harder without someone else to be there to give you a break. But I know many single mothers who wouldn't change it for anything in the world. consider what I have said, if you would like to talk to me more about this you can inbox me or email me. Have a wonderful day. :)

Ev - posted on 01/19/2015

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I thought it was 4.5 months Sarah. My misread. But still after a certain time frame in some places its not legal to terminate.

Sarah - posted on 01/19/2015

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Evelyn, I am curious, Why at 4 and 1/2 weeks would she not be able terminate? Either a surgical or medical abortion can be done at this time. I am not an adovcate of this choice. I just wanted clarification.

Eniya - posted on 01/19/2015

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Thank you everyone for all your wonderful responses I will definitely take everything each one of you have said into consideration. I have a very close friend that I talk to everyday about the situation she is very helpful and supportive. I live in NYC so I do have the choice to abort but I am strongly thinking about keeping my baby. I know the father will most likely not want to be involved in the Childs life even though he has knew me since I was around 8. He doesn't want to have a child now because he's "not ready" but I believe no one is truly ready to have a baby. I'm looking forward to more of your responses all of you are very wonder welcoming women & I thank you guys for that

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2015

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It is your choice but I feel that you really need to go through all your options and the true cost of each one.
Maybe even go to a counsellor and discuss how you will cope with whatever you decide to do.
It takes 2 to make a baby and if the Father didn't want a baby then he should have used something to prevent it. He's just as much in this as you.

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