Teen refusing to live with Blended family

Lori - posted on 04/21/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm in my late 40's, single mother of three teenaged daughters (16, 18, 20). I have been divorce for 7 years and my daughters have not had contact with their father for 4 years now. I met a wonderful man two years ago and he also has two teenagers (19, 23) one of each gender. I am very traditional and would like to get married. All of the kids are on board except my 16 year old daughter (the youngest of the crew). She refuses to move and share a house with another family, even though she gets along very well with them. I respect her feelings, and understand that this is not the ideal situation for everyone, but I also don't want her to dictate how I move forward. How do I honor her feelings and get married?

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Michelle - posted on 04/21/2013

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It's all well and good respecting her feelings but in the end you are the parent and she is the child. A child shouldn't be dictating what the parents do.

I agree with Evelyn, you need to find out the reasons for her not wanting to move. I would also let her know that he makes you happy and that all too soon all the children would be out of the house and you will be on your own. You would like someone to grow old with and that you have been single for most of her life to give her what she needed, now it's time for you to think about your future.

Ev - posted on 04/21/2013

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Talk to your daughter and tell her that while you understand her feelings, you are moving on with your life and want to get married again. Tell her that changes are a part of life and that she has only a couple of more years before she can actually go out on her own anyway. Also ask her why she does not want to do this. Do not take the answer because I don't like it or I don't want to live in a blended family. Get her to tell you what bothers her about the situation. Get your fiance to join the conversation and talk to her too.

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