teen tantrums

Lucka - posted on 02/11/2015 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My child is displaying teen tantrums ..she is 14 ..and is insisting ewe move house becasue we have had bad neighbourly noise whcih ws traumatic. She seems to think she is connected to the neighbour because we have ajoining walls. We cannot move house jsut yet although i am considering it. I ahve reported the noise and he is quiet now but she is till traumatised. She has an 'elitist' mindset because she does ballet and is mixing with rich and materialistic kids. Nothing i do or say is good enough and calls me a loser. Is this normal teen behaviour and aphase or is she sick. She has had layer sof trauma but we have coped throguh it an she does v well at school. She is aprfectionist whcih doesn't hep and it's like a switch recently flicked in her when she saw that her friend had a cinema in her house. She doesn't feel normal in affluent circles. Deserate to see her soemwhat happy again. Getting worn down. Shall i let her stay with my siste in her mansion for a few days?..i'm figuring she may either come to her senses and miss me . I acannot compete with wealthy people and she calls me a loser

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Sarah - posted on 02/13/2015

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Not every ballet class is a ticket to snobbery. I took ballet at the Boys and Girls Club, I was pretty talented and my instructor was a former prima ballerina from ABT. This is an issue of gratitude, if it wasn't the ballet it'd be something else

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/13/2015

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Considering that part of her issue is the ballet class...I'd say she isn't mature enough to attend ballet, if all she can do is come home with ideas that money is everything. That money that you're using on lessons can be donated to a charity in her name.,

Sarah - posted on 02/12/2015

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Having money, a nice house, luxury cars is meaningless. Thing can all be lost in an instant. Good character, humility, honesty, integrity, gratitude and appreciation for how fortunate you truly are cannot be taken from you. Perhaps rather than going to ballet lessons, your daughter can go volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
Your child may have had some hard times in her life, but so have thousands of other children. She needs a big lesson in gratitude.

Lucka - posted on 02/12/2015

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Thanks for the help.it's really hard because she does work hard. She gets the best grades but lives in the worst house..hard for her to understand. It's a very bad environment for her because of those brats and it was so hard for her to make friends. Anyhow, i really appreciate the help, thank you. She has very high standards but i guess they are all about appearances. She was morally very good before this and then it's like a switch flipped..i think she is quite worn out and will have her checked out at doctor

Raye - posted on 02/12/2015

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She has the necessities, and you are not a loser because you didn't have the same opportunities in life that other wealthier people have had. She is better off than some kids. Make her volunteer at a homeless shelter or battered women's shelter and let her see that there are many people worse off than she is.

And, as Laurel said, have her work hard toward getting a good education, good job, and buying her own mansion. If she thinks she can do so much better, she better prove it.

Sandra - posted on 02/12/2015

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Yes my son did the a similar thing, he ran off with the gardener. We were distraught for months, after hours without contact we called the police, and our son was returned to us safe and sound. I think your daughter will come round as well

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

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Regardless of the trauma, it is NOT acceptable for her to take this attitude with you. Not even a little bit. And she needs to understand that, and if that means cutting her ballet for a while, then tough. I'd sit her down and very firmly spell out to her that you are disappointed with how she is speaking to you and treating you (and others?) with her attitude, and that if this is what going to ballet is going to turn her into, then I'm sorry, but ballet will be removed from her activities until she can start to demonstrate a kinder heart and a more empathetic attitude (you may need to explain what empathy is and why it is important) because this is not the type of behaviour that is acceptable.

Lucka - posted on 02/11/2015

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Well, she was abandoned by her dad at 2, a n old and flahed himself at her behind my cack in a shop and repoted to police and generall bullying times at school over the years. We have also had a very disruptive neighbour recently and he was investigated and is quiet now but she hates our house now..She has coped well and is a great student and popular but she is constantly trying to keep up witht he rich brats at ballet even who's parents post 'building', 'renovating' on social media. Well, i cannot build or renovate and she just thinks that anyone that cannot do their best in lefe and produce a grand lifestyle is really doing hteir best. I'v etaught her tho have standsards and she ws alovely child until she went to ballet and started mixing with princessy attitudes. Friendships ar highly important to her and because some of these goirls are so snoby she has jsut been comptitieve. The problem is that..she is highly competitive and she is also premenstrual and it's ahrd to make her understand. Her schoolwork is great!

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

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LOL, I like Laura's response.

However, she is getting this attitude from ballet? I'd reward her behaviour of calling you a loser with removing ballet from her activities she is allowed to do for a while, along with any other activities she is normally able to do, until she can apologise for her behaviour and demonstrate that, in fact she has respect for you (a few extra chores might help here) and that she isn't entitled to ANYTHING in the life except a roof over her head, food in her tummy, maybe a mattress to sleep on with enough bedding to keep her warm, an education and......that's about it really.

Remind her of that and let her know that's what her life will be if she doesn't drop the entitled little brat attitude.

Do you REALLY think that you should reward her behaviour by allowing her to go and stay in a mansion for a few days? Isn't that just giving her exactly what she wants? So what do you think she will do next time she wants something? Oh, that's right, call you a loser.

I do have one question, however. What do you mean by her having layers of trauma? What kind of trauma are we talking about?

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