Stephanie - posted on 11/11/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )
My daughter has decided for whatever reason to move in with dad....at first I was sad and angry and then my friend said something that changed things for me. She asked me "did you do the best job possible raising her to this point?" I said yes, she said did you make sure that she always came first in your life? I said yes...sooooo...she said now let him have his turn being the parent that he should of been and give yourself a break and know that no matter what you were a good mom and the values you gave her are there and she will either use them or lose them and you can only let go and let God. Wow! Powerful stuff even though it's so simple...sometimes we beat ourselves up when things go wrong and lose sight that no matter how good we are things do go wrong and kids do make poor choices and they don't do it to spite us they do it cause they are teens, selfish, ten feet tall, bullet proof and know it alls....
We as moms have to see that this is our time to regroup find ourselves and look at it as an oppertunity not as the end of the world. If dad fails her and things go bad she will be back but if she is safe and maybe learns something from being there you have to let her find her way.
My mom said to me that parents hover way more than in her time and it doesn't give the child the life lessons that we had growing up, I'm 40 and I did a lot of things in my teens that I sure wouldn't want my teen to do but I lived and learned sometimes the hard way from it.... I'm going to take a step back and let this story unfold without causing drama or drowning in sorrow..
This won't work for every mom with this situation but it might be a lightbulb moment for others... Hope this enlightens some of you cause it sure did for me