Teenage daughter

Lorraine - posted on 11/23/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My daughter recently told a teacher to F off I got called to the school! Consequently I have taken every privilege away from my daughter and not given her a time limit when she will get it back! So now I have a 13 year old in tears every night bored with nothing to do! Even though I have given her chores and played family games with her and my 6 year old! When shkd I stop punishing her and how can I stop this happening again? I've already swapped her schools and this is the new one! Her bedroom now has a bed wardrobe and drawers everything else has Been taken away! Her reason for her behaviour is to make people laugh and like her!anyone would like her when she is herself she is a beautiful person xx


Anna - posted on 11/25/2013




You are sending very mixed and confused messages.

Your daughter told you that she desperately wants to be liked by her peers. She told a teacher to fuck off. That is gutsy, although not very smart.

Maybe the teacher deserved, maybe he/she did not. Your daughter was rude and has to face the consequences.

However, not setting a time limit is cruel punishment. You are not setting firm boundaries but you are leaving her dangling in the air.

So, Step 1: Talk to her about her behaviour. Will it happen again? Discuss future punishment if it happens again. Let her give input as well.

Step 2: She wants the respect of her peers. It is a new school, so she is insecure, not part of any social dynamics. Help her make friends. Maybe let her invite some people she wants to become closer.

Step 3: Confidence building - insecure children do stupid things. Once they are secure in who they are, they are less likely to do something just because people might like them for it. They may still do stupid things, but at least then they will mean to do them.

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