teenage daughter

Lorraine - posted on 09/22/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my daughters do not respect me and say horrible things to me and my husband doesn't say anything and doesn't have my back, Its very upsetting and I don't think I can take any more she has no confidence I try my best to talk to her but it just doesn't work please give me some advise.

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Raye - posted on 09/22/2015

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Lorraine,
You need to have punishments/consequences for the bad behavior. Jodi is right, you can't give the child whatever they want and expect them to "be nice". You're turning the child into a spoiled brat. Your husband should "have your back" but not if you're contributing to the problem. The child needs discipline.

Jodi - posted on 09/22/2015

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So the kids act up, they get what they want so they will be nice to you? Are you seeing anything wrong with this picture?

When a child acts up, they need consequences, not what they want and their own way! What you are doing right now is rewarding poor behaviour.

I am not saying any of this to insult you, but I think some parenting classes are in order here. I also suggest you read a bit about Pavlov's dogs (I know it is about dogs, but it incredibly relevant to what you are doing - conditioning your children to certain behaviours with certain rewards). See the following:
http://www.simplypsychology.org/pavlov.h...

You should ONLY reward positive behaviours, not negative ones if you don't want this to continue.

How old are the children? And if you can give us examples of behaviours, we can provide you with suggestions. But do look into some parenting classes if you can find them.

Lakeya - posted on 09/22/2015

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Yes let her know that she will only get one mom who has loved her. And when your.. gone one day when it's your time to go.. let her know she will be hurt in the long.. run... let her know there some one out there.. who don't have a mother who.. is begging.. wishing they had a mother like you... Advice from Ms La'Keya D

Lorraine - posted on 09/22/2015

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Hi Jodi,

I don't know what to do about it and need some advice anything she wants I give her just so that she'll be nice to me but it only lasts a few minutes, im really upset and down about it, Im a nice person maybe too nice

Jodi - posted on 09/22/2015

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What are you doing about it? What consequences are YOU putting into place. I don't agree that your husband shouldn't have your back, but you shouldn't be relying on him to implement consequences, as this also disempowers you.

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