Teenage Daughter Dating

Nicole - posted on 09/08/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Ok, so my daughter will be 14 soon and she has her first boyfriend. One problem..he is bisexual. I am at a loss as to what to do or think. He is not dating anyone but her. She has struggled with depression and anxiety. She has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety disorder. After meeting this boy at school, she has been the happiest i have seen her in years. She is finally going out of the house. She looks forward to going to school, which prior to this she hated it. I am so happy to see her happy, and she knows he is bisexual,and it does not bother her. I realize at this age relationships come and go as fast as the weather can change. Ive just never had to deal with this. Growing up, I never encountered this. Any advice would be so helpful.

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Sarah - posted on 09/08/2015

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I have mixed feeling. I am glad your child is happy, but what misery will a breakup bring? How far would she go to "keep" him as her BF? i don't allow my kids to date at 14. Its there a way to just encourage a platonic friendship?

Dove - posted on 09/08/2015

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Be VERY careful allowing your daughter to date at only 14... especially w/ the depression, anxiety, and social anxiety (3 of my diagnoses only I'm 'upgraded' to social phobia...lol).

Keep the lines of communication open w/ her and make sure you or an adult you trust are 'supervising' their out of school contact (chaperoned group dates, etc...).

I understand you are happy to see her happy, but like you said... relationships at this age don't tend to last long and the break up could cause a much worsening situation.

As for the bisexual angle... I'm not sure how that really matters in their relationship... a guy that your daughter is dating could just as easily 'fall' for another girl while they are dating. If he is 'committed' (as much as a teenager could be) to your daughter then he will be w/ your daughter and NOT another girl... or a guy.

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Nicole - posted on 09/08/2015

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When i say date, its more of she has a boyfriend at school. They dont actually go on dates. And dave, i completely understand what you are saying, i have had some of those exact same fears as far as her anxiety goes. I know the relationship wont last, and i dread the breakup. She feels things so deeply and intensely. She is starting therapy next week, so hopefully that will help. I am doing my best at keeping the lines of communication open. Teenagers dont typically like to talk, but both of my girls know I'm not just going to leave it alone. And @ sarah, i understand what you are saying as well, but i feel like the boyfriend thing is a natural or normal process that will happen regardless. We have long suspected aspergers syndrome with her. She feels very out of place at school, she doesnt make friends easily, and she of course sees all the other girls having boyfriends. I have talked with her numerous times and reinforced the "boys are trouble, and you dont have to have one, school should be your focus" but here we are. Thank you both so much for responding. I love my daughters with all my heart, i had no idea how hard teenagers could really be,lol.

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