Teenage daughter feeling isolated at school feeling like she doesn't have friends

Tonice - posted on 04/27/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




My soon to be 16 year old daughter feels like she has no friends in school and certainly none in the community she seems a bit stand offish to me and I ha e spoken to her about that she swears that she is aware of this and make particular efforts to be more out going and friendly but she just comes across as sullen or not wanting to be bothered my heart breaks for her she Is just looking for that one friend male or female that she can connect with and have a friendship that will take her through her teenage years and possibly through life is that asking for too much I have signed her up with the local boys and girls club in our community and have an appointment for this week to get her started I don't know what else to do


Ledia - posted on 04/28/2015




What sport does she play? If she is currently doing something more individualized, maybe you can find something more team centered that uses the same skill set? For example, dance team instead of individual dance classes, join demonstration teams for martial arts, join the competitive team for gymnastics or use those skills on a cheer leading team (school is not the only place to do cheer leading). If she does track, make time after school or on weekends for her to practice with a teammate. etc.

Same goes for her music lessons. My son takes private guitar lessons, but we meetup with other guitar players about once a week to play music together and discuss new ideas. Another option is to join a band--my kid is too young, but she's at a good age, depending on the instrument she plays.

Lastly, this might sound selfish, but it's okay, keep socializing in mind when you schedule her volunteer commitments. If you allow her to volunteer in areas that interest her, volunteering can be a great place to meet people because they will all have similar interests to her--you just have to make sure her position allows for socializing while she works. For example, rather than collecting and dropping off food for the food pantry on her own, have her work in the group boxing it all up. If she loves animals, she can work booths at events, facilitate meetings between potential adopters and rescue pets, etc. Join planning committees for charities that do a lot of fund raising--this will put her in close contact with people who are passionate about the same things she is.

Basically, just look at the things she likes to do and is passionate about, and think about ways to put her in contact with people with the same interests. Chances of finding a great friend in a totally random pool are pretty slim, but if you narrow the pool to people she has a lot in common with, she will have better luck.

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