Teenage daughter has trouble making friends

Melissa - posted on 10/03/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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HELP! I am so sad for my sweet daughter. She is 16 (almost 17) and has so much trouble making and keeping friends. She is shy and lacks confidence. Sometime she is immature and acts a little wild in front of others to try to fit in. She thinks they think she is funny but I am afraid they think she is annoying. She wants so much to fit in that she tries too hard. She has always had trouble making friends. Luckily she has one friend that has been with her through everything. She wants to be friends with a group of girls though and they never include her. She does not want to ask them why she does not get invited but is not sure what to do. I see what happens and cannot stop it. I don't want to hurt her feelings so I just try to help when I can but it is so hard. If she just would stop trying to be something she is not and could try to be a bit more thoughtful towards people (sometimes she is caught up in her own problems) I think she would be able to fit in better. She has ADD and I am not sure if this is making it all the worse as well. I am so sad. It also does not help that her younger sister is very mature and one of the most popular girls in her grade. I am at my wit's end. If anyone has advice, I would appreciate it!

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Melissa - posted on 10/03/2016

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She is seeing a therapist who has helped her a bit but not with the friendship issues. I talked to her therapist about this before but maybe not directly. I will try again.

Thanks,

Sarah - posted on 10/03/2016

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Doe she want to make more friends? If so some social therapy may help. Counselors that specialize in behavioral therapy can help her understand that her behavior may be putting kids off. Learning to just relax and be who you are, especially if you are insecure about who you are, is hard and scary.

Melissa - posted on 10/03/2016

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She is in counseling. I keep trying to get her to do something outside of school but she refuses. She is very stubborn. She does have a job but she has not really made any friends there either.

Sarah - posted on 10/03/2016

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Is she involved in any activities outside of school that can help her connect with like-minded friends and build her self esteem? In addition to some counseling?

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