Teenage daughter is ungrateful, disrespectful & lazy - but only at home!

Terra - posted on 12/13/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am a single Mom to a 17 year old Senior. She is a very good kid, and has always excelled in school, is kind and polite, very involved with cheerleading/student council/ honors classes,etc... Lately I feel like everything about me just annoys her or irritates her, and her level of disrespect and general lack of gratefulness is really getting out of hand.She is definitely the typical teen right now. I have always done everything I can for her and she has never went without anything she needed. I do not have a lot of money or come from money by any means, but I have always worked. Her Dad is still in her life and is a good guy but they do not spend a lot of time together. Yet she keeps him on a pedestal, always. She would never speak to her Dad or act to her Dad the way she does to me, which at times really sucks! She is like a different person to other people and with other people (family, her friends, her friend parents, etc...) then she is to me, I know teens go through this, but where do you draw a line? She is also incredibly lazy at home and helps with basically nothing around the house unless I harp on her about it & remind her every day - to which she usually throws an attitude. She is always busy with her activities & her friends, and also works part time, so in that respect she is not lazy, but she needs to understand that she still has responsibilities at home as well. We are not just a hotel and eating place for her. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years, and he is getting very frustrated in how she acts to me and her laziness around the house, - which of course is beginning to add to my stress. He was raised by a sinlge MOm too and was never allowed to be how she is, and he always had responsibilities around the house to help. He sees me doing everything for her and her lack of appreciation for all i do on every level. He has no kids of his own, so sometimes I get mad and feel like he has no idea what being a parent means and entails, especially financially. I know that she should do more, but then I feel bad because I know she is very busy. However, he & I both work full time jobs and have our other responsibilities as well. He is also a very neat and tidy person, who takes very good care of things - so her lack of tidiness makes him even more frustrated. We(He) also re-did her entire bedroom this past year, paint, new furniture, etc... to make it her "teen room" and it is basically always a disaster. I know teens are teens but it is really starting to make me feel soooo stressed out every day - between her attitude and laziness & lack of appreciation and then him going off to me about how lazy she is and him getting so upset about she is acting to me. - it sucks!! He does a lot for us, and she doesn't realize that I could not even do half of what I do for her without all that he does for me & us - which I have told her. She is selfish, but not with other people. I don't know how to get through to her... and one more thing, she does talk to me and is very open with me about a LOT of major things, and I do not want to harm that openness between us. But I have to nip this in the bud before it tears our "family unit" that we have established int he past 7 years apart. HELP!!

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