Teenage Daughter spent the gift money I gave her on her friend

Leslie - posted on 03/17/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My birthday present to my 14-year-old daughter was a sleepover and a trip to the mall with her friend. On Saturday, I took the girls to breakfast and then to the mall. Before they got out of the car, I gave my daughter $40 spending money, knowing that she also had some of her own money with her. I let the two girls go off on their own for a few hours. When we met up again, they showed me all of the things they had purchased. This included a hat, cardigan, jeans and a necklace that my daughter had bought for her friend. My daughter also purchased similar items for herself and it seemed the friend had some more things she had purchased on her own. I worry that my daughter's friend might have taken advantage of her. It's a complex situation, because the girls have known each other since kindergarten and when my daughter goes with this friend and her grandmother, the grandmother often buys items for both of the girls. The next day, when I had a chance to talk to my daughter alone, I mentioned that I was worried her friend was taking advantage of her. She told me that her friend would never do that and that she had wanted to buy these things for her friend. My daughter said that she promised her friend she would buy one thing for her but then "caved" and purchased the other items for her as well. I told my daughter that she shouldn't feel like she has to buy things for her friend. I don’t want to dictate to her how to use her spending money, but I want her to be careful. Additionally, the $40 was part of my gift to her, and it seems it all went to her friend instead. This is a little hurtful and upsetting because I don’t have a lot of extra money to just hand out and it seems like my daughter is a bit unappreciative. I feel like I want to say more to my daughter about this situation, but I’m not sure how to handle this. Has anyone else experienced this type of dilemma?

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