Teenage Daughters!!

Rebecca - posted on 04/12/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have two teenage daughters, my oldest and I are opposite personalities she's strong willed and I can talk to her but she's very independent. I'm struggling with my youngest who's 16 and we have the same personality and we butt heads..I have been trying to communicate with her by asking how her day went and just to start a conversation with her and she closes me out. I understand she's a teenager and she's going through a rough time as a teenager. I just need any recommendations or thoughts of how to have a good relationship with her. I don't want to be a constant pain..I would just like for us to get a long somewhat so were not always upset with each other. I'm an excellent listener..as far as being a talker not so much and that sucks. HELP! lol


Raye - posted on 04/13/2016




If she doesn't want to have a conversation, then don't make her talk. You can keep asking about her day. Ask her about the book she's reading or show she's watching. Keep opening the door of conversation, and eventually she may just walk through. Just let her know that you're there for her if she needs you.

If you're always butting heads, maybe you can create a "safe zone" where, while she's in the zone she can tell you anything at all without you yelling or immediately fighting about what she says. The safe zone can be a certain chair or room or place where she could talk, you listen, and really think about what she says before reacting. Asking more questions is ok, but hold off on the judgment until you're more calm. There should still be consequences if she has done something bad, but the communication is more important and her feeling safe to open up with you. And if she actually does come clean on her own about something bad she's done, give her credit for being honest with you and maybe go a little lighter on the punishment (unless it's something really bad). Let her know you appreciate her talking to you.

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