Teenage girls and crop tops, ok or not ok?

Momma3333 - posted on 03/23/2014 ( 30 moms have responded )

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My 15 year old Gia and I were shopping and she wanted to buy a crop top. I was very hesitant but let her get it anyway. All of the girls on the social networking sites are in them and I guess she wanted to be like them too. More "grown up". She recently came to me and wanted to return the crop top. She said that she didn't want to grow up too fast and that she didn't need the top. She is still debating weather or not to keep it because she was going to wear it to a concert with her friends. I told her it was up to her to make the decision. I have always told her that those kinds of things can be trashy, and I know that she would never want to look trashy. She seems a little uncomfortorble wearing it, like she would be embarrassed to wear it in front of the family but maybe ok to wear out with friends.

What should I do about this situation?
Is it appropriate for 15 year old freshman to be wearing this midriff showing top?
Thanks

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Bethany - posted on 12/07/2014

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ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT CENTURY WAS THIS POSTED? SHE IS 15. SHE THINKS WEARING A CROP TOP IS "GROWING UP TOO FAST" 12 year olds wear crop tops. So what? It's cute and nobody cares. EVERYONE WEARS THEM WHAT IS THIS

Risa - posted on 04/19/2014

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personally i think people are over reacting ...... i think that if she wants to wear it that she should be able. This is the age wear kids experiment and discover their taste in fashion. I think if the shirt wasn't too cropped its okay.

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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In my humble opinion, a girl that age does not need to be dressing in sexy clothing. They do not understand the messages those clothes give off to not only boys but to men though that is not the reason girls wear this stuff. Media, social networks and such have ingrained into the teen girls what is fashion and what to wear saying it will make them look grown up and so on. It does make them look older but it sends a bad message out too. Some girls end up with a reputation because of it, some get attacked by the boys because of it in terms of verbal messages and sometimes others. I think that encouraging a girl to get items of this nature is not good for them. They are not getting a good message of what good self image really is. And these things are a fad. Something else will take its place next year. You said she decided she did not want to wear it because she did not want to grow up too fast. That should tell you a lot right there and you said you also told her how trashy they look so maybe the message did sink in. Also, one thing more, girls this age do not need social media either.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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I'm sorry, Shawnn, I never said that it was MY personal style. I am actually self concious about showing my stomach, like I said below, I only wore a crop top on a few occasions. For some girls, their personal style is to wear crop tops say with a cardigan and skinny jeans, that is what THEY like to wear. Personal style does not have to be from a certain era, to me, personal style is whatever YOU as a person likes to wear.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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And, ms Opinion, how can you honestly say it's 'your personal style', when midriff shirts and short skirts have been 'in' since you were born? Just wondering.

For example, my 20 YO son's personal style is to dress like he's from the 1940's. He wears jackets or suits on dates, he still opens car doors and hands his date in and out, and he still believes in treating his woman like a queen. THAT is personal style, not following the masses. (The rest of his peers 'dutch' date, barely have enough patience to let their girlfriends get into a vehicle before roaring off, and put their needs and opinions ahead of their girlfriends'...and wonder why my son has more female hanging out with him)

Your choice of dress, by your own admission, follows the masses, so how can that be a 'personal' style?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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Anne,

You're not exactly advocating crop tops, you're advocating allowing a 15 or 16 YO to have input on what they wear or want to wear. I definitely don't disagree with that! You obviously think your choices through very well, and consider several different angles when you do so (How will this look on me, how will I feel wearing it, will it make me look short, or frumpy, or will it hang ridiculously and look strange) You are not just looking at it in a 'she wears that, so I should' manner.

That, my dear, is a strong young lady, with a mind of her own, and the smarts to do it right! Now, just don't start thinking you're 'too fat'...because I imagine you're beautiful!

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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You're welcome, it has been a please interacting with you as well. Maybe the reason that I think it is okay for most girls to wear crop tops is that I can't really do it, because I feel like my body is not skinny enough to. But, at least 3/4 of my friends are dancers or cheerleaders or athletes and I see them wear crop tops all the time and look great. Have a great day Shawnn :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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Here speaks the true honesty. You talk about body type...not many your age even take that into account! You do seem like a level headed young woman, and its been a pleasure interacting with you today, Anna!

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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I agree with you, one of my friends enjoys wearing tighter t-shirts and high waisted jean skirts. I love her style, but I just do not have the body to pull that off. I wish I could, but I can't. The clothes that are in style just happen to work for my body shape. They cover up my stomach, which I am self-concious about don't make me feel uncomfortable.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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Thanks for the clarification! I respect your honesty. You honestly said that you wear what you wear because it's 'in'. That's fine, and that's your right.

Personally? I'd rather see every young person develop their own style, and not bend to what's 'in' or not. On another note, I wish I could still wear high waisted jeans/shorts...I always liked that look.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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Okay, I am sorry, but I honestly just do not agree with you. I enjoy wearing the clothes that are in fashion. Just because I do that does not make me a tramp. The clothes I feel that flatter my body are tighter bottoms and looser tops. I have worn a crop top on a few occasions. It showed a little bit of my stomach, but I paired it with high waisted shorts so that I wouldn't look too trampy. If the clothes that were in fashion were tight shirts and loose skirts, I would not wear those, I just don't feel comfortable with that.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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I did see a very cute thing today (I work on a college campus)...a young lady had a cute crop top on...over an even cuter cami. No midriff showing, still had the cute top & cami. I commented, and she responded "I like the crop tops, but I am not showing anyone my belly ring until they're committed to me in a serious way, plus, with the wind we have here, at least my assets are ALL covered".

I giggled...we do have horrible wind here...Marilyn Monroe certainly wouldn't have worn a skirt in our weather!

I'm all about being proud of your body, and being an INDIVIDUAL. My 'issue', I guess is all of these 'individual' people looking like a mirror image of one another...

Ev - posted on 06/30/2014

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And I have to add to Shawnn's words here about 15 and 16 year old girls and clothing styles: My own daughter found she liked the styles of the cropped shirts but she did not want the belly to be seen. So I told her if she found a shirt she liked well enough we would go up one shirt size so it would cover her.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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How many (BE HONEST) 15 & 16 year old girls can HONESTLY say that they are wearing something (that everyone else is wearing, by the way) BECAUSE THEY RESPECT THEMSELVES, and not because every one else is?

A poll of 15 & 16 year old girls in my neighborhood came back with 9 out of 10 saying that they'd rather dress like their friends and 'fit in' than dress more modestly and exhibit self respect. When asked if they thought that the type of garb was appropriate for their age or not, 8 out of 10 said they thought it was NOT, but that they wear it 'because everyone else does'.

Just an unofficial poll, mind you, of a bunch of great kids in my neighborhood. Most have TONS of self respect, and admit to feeling uncomfortable in the belly shirts, short shorts, etc that most of their peers are wearing, but also admit to begging their parents to allow them to purchase something similar.

On the other hand, I have a 14 YO neighbor who dresses in skirts (tasteful length, excellent style) who said that she looked at her friends one day, and didn't want to look 'trampy like they did', so she started learning how to make her own clothing.

I have more respect for the child who dares to act and dress differently from 'everyone else', than I do for those following the crowd. And, believe it or not, boys and men feel the same.

I'm not saying that the way anyone dresses should open them up to poor treatment, but the reality of the situation is that if you want to be treated with respect (by BOTH genders), show some respect for yourself in how you dress and present yourself.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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If she is wearing it for the wrong reasons, yes, but if she is wearing it because that is what her own personal style is, then she should not be scrutinized.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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I agree with Evelyn as well, i just do not agree with the fact that crop tops are devoiding a girl of self respect.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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It is a girl's choice if she wishes to wear a crop top. No one is pinning her down and forcing her to. And if that girl wears a crop top, sure, some girl might look at her and say "wow, she looks pretty, I want a crop top too," but it is not the girl's fault for wearing that top. Young girls need to get the message that they can wear whatever they feel like wearing. Some girls like to wear crop tops, some girls like to wear maxi dresses, some girls like to wear capris with sparkly unicorns. A girl showing self respect is a girl who doesn't care what the media thinks and a girl who wears what she wants to wear and is confident. I'm sorry if you do not agree, but that is my opinion on the matter. Wearing crop tops doesn't make you a better person, it is your choice. Clothes don't even really mattter.

~Anna Blakely Rose

Ev - posted on 06/30/2014

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But girls get the wrong impressions from media that they have to dress a certain way to look good to others. And they buy into it very easily and that gives them the idea of what body image is supposed to be. Media plays on our wants, desires, and needs. And when it tells us one thing is better than the other, most of us tend to believe that being a certain body size with certain hair and eye color and makeup and certain clothes is good looking. That is not the message young girls need to get.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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Your clothing is your choice, it's your body. Respect yourself by wearing what feels comfortable to you, whether it be crop tops or turtlenecks. Showing skin does not make you devoid of self respect. Women's bodies are often regarded as something that should be completely covered and not shown because it would be "sinful." Wearing the crop top as a woman is the same as going shirtless as a man. It's done often, but people always make a big deal of the woman, saying that she is just trying to be sexy and has no respect for herself.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/30/2014

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If young women would respect themselves, they'd realize that there is no need to show excess skin.

A well dressed, covered woman is just as sexy, if not sexier, than a skantily clad woman who shows everything. And, the 'typical' teenage attitude is that if they're wearing that, they're 'confident' in their self image. What they DON'T realize is what the OP's daughter DID realize...that they're doing it because EVERYONE ELSE IS, and they will feel ostracized if they don't dress the same.

The OP's daughter DOES have self esteem.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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A girl can still respect herself if she wears a crop top. I understand what you are saying, that beauty comes from the inside, but I do not think wearing a crop top diminishes that beauty. I personally am fine with wearing crop tops, and I am an excellent student and do not feel like I am not respecting myself by wearing one.

Ev - posted on 06/30/2014

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Anna Blakely Rose

I am a mom of a girl who is now a grown woman with her own children. I will have to say that telling my daughter no she could not wear certain clothing had nothing to do with self esteem but with learning about modesty and self respect. Just because her parents think she does not need to wear trashy looking clothing does not mean she is not pretty. Beauty comes from within more so than from without. Its the person a girl is that makes her beautiful. All the material things in the world that people use to make themselves look good fade in time. Look inside and find out what is beautiful.

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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I am a sixteen year old girl and I feel like it is up to the girl what clothes she wears. If she isn't comfortable wearing a crop top, then she does not have to wear it. If she is confident enough in herself that she feels she can wear the top, let her. Telling her no gives her the message that she isn't pretty enough and kind of hurts her self esteem.

~Anna Blakely Rose

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/23/2014

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IMO no it is not appropriate. Maybe with a lace top on top of it would be ok depending on what it looks like, but it is not ok for kids that age to be wearing a crop top. I don't care what her friends are doing. Neither should she or you.

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