Teenage Smoking

Saira - posted on 10/07/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

1

I recently found out that my 15year old son was/is smoking. I felt devastated and hurt by his actions. He is aware of the risks and dangers of smoking however rationalizes his behavior. He has promised to stop but how do I trust him? Believe him? I am feeling betrayed by him though I know he didn't do it to hurt me.
What's the way forward?

3 Comments

View replies by

Chet - posted on 10/07/2014

2,093

0

587

It's a really good sign that your son is able to talk honestly with you... admitting that he feels stressed at school, and overprotected at home.

It's fair to leave him to try and quit on his own. Especially if he's only been smoking the odd cigarette here and there. Just don't take it personally if he isn't successfully. I would be supportive rather than angry if it turns out that quitting isn't easy for him.

Saira - posted on 10/07/2014

3

0

1

Thank you for the response. The money is from his allowance which I cut as soon as I found out. It's not that he has a packet of cigarettes, rather one here and there or from friends. This he does when he is out, I haven't smelt smoking in the house. He acknowledges that it is because he is stressed with school and home(me) being over protective.
He has said that he quit and doesn't need help to quit basically to prove that he does not have an addictive personality trait.
I want to believe and trust him but this is the hard part.

Chet - posted on 10/07/2014

2,093

0

587

First, appreciate that smoking can be extremely addictive. There are people who claim that kicking a nicotine habit is harder than beating a cocaine addiction. Depending on how long he's been smoking, and how susceptible he is to it's influence, he might need some real support to give this up. So even though he promised to stop, don't assume it will be that easy or that his inability to quit cold turkey is something that you should take personally.

Hopefully, he's a casual smoker and progressed to a serious addiction. I've definitely known people who only smoked socially... a couple times a month.

Anyway, I would do whatever you can to support his efforts to quit and absolutely nothing to enable the smoking. Help him to find resources to quit smoking. Don't allow him to smoke in your home, or on your property.

Where has he been getting the money for cigarettes? Does he have a job?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms