teenage son

[deleted account] ( 24 moms have responded )

My son is 16 years old his father and I have been divorced for many years my son lives with me. My sons father is a teacher at times he will teach at my sons school. That afternoon my son took out his cell phone. Teacher saw he took it out and she took it from him. Well the bell rang and my son proceeded to his next class. He ran into his assistant prnicipal and told him what happend. My son has never had any problems in school. The assistant principal decided to give him his phone back. So when my son went to his last class of the day. His father is teaching his class lying on the desk is my sons phone. After class my son wanted his phone back father would not give him back his phone. So I called his dad he would ot answer his phone after several attempts. Me and my son went to his home my son knocked on the door told him I wanted to talk to him about the phone. My ex husband stormed out of the house and started yelling at me. Then turned around and got into his sons face and pushed him and grabbed hiim by the throat. My son reacted back and it turned into a fighting match. My ex grabbed a metal chair and proceeded to hit my son. I then got in the middle to protect my son when this man swung the chair to hit his son and I ended up getting hit in the arm and so did my son. We both got cut by this chair I then called the cops. They came no one was arrested they took pictures and ask questions and made a report. I'm not sure what my ex husband report said but my sons said he was charged with simple battery. Now I'm waiting to see what happens next plese give me your opinion on this matter.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2014

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Get your own head out of your ass.

If you cannot see that the situation would have been avoided IF YOUR SON HAD NEVER TAKEN OUT HIS PHONE DURING CLASS, then you have bigger problems than your ex.

Bottom line? The man wasn't right for physically assaulting his son. HOWEVER, had the boy followed school rules to begin with, THE PROBLEM WOULD NOT HAVE OCCURRED. Since you cannot seem to take those damn blinders off, you'll spend the rest of your life trying to justify actions that shouldn't have ever occurred to begin with.

YOUR SON was not in the right when he initially took his phone out of his pocket. YOUR SON violated what is generally a rule in place in ALL schools in this day and age, that being NO CELLPHONES during class. Quit enabling that behaviour. Quit making it all about your ex. Because, really, it is about the inability of your son to follow school rules to begin with.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2014

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The phone was involved twice. Once in the original class, and once in the class that the child's father is teaching.

The point that LM was trying to make was that none of this would have happened in the first place, had your kid not taken his phone out during class time.

She also pointed out (according to information provided by you) that the assault situation was being addressed by law enforcement. So, as I see it, the fact that your ex got physical IS BEING ADDRESSED. By the authorities, as it should be. We didn't disagree that there's a problem with that behaviour, but you seem to not want to understand that your son could have avoided ANY confiscation of his phone and ANY confrontation with school administration if he'd either kept the damned thing in his locker, or left it in his pocket during class.

24 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 04/09/2014

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LOL, I can't see anywhere in my post where I was angry. Neither am I ignorant. It depends where you live as to whether a parent can teach their child. To me, it sounds like your ex is merely a relief teacher, which, where I live, is not an issue. It isn't like they are grading them, they are simply there to fill in for an absent teacher. I'm not aware that there is anything against that because there should be no conflict of interest. If he removed the phone and KEPT it against school policy, then I am actually advocating you had the right to contact the school about that because he was a teacher there. You should not have turned this into a personal matter. But you chose to hound him by phone and turn up on his doorstep. If I had a student do that to me because I followed school policy (or even if I didn't), I personally would have called the police because this is unacceptable.

Taking a cell phone out IS disrespecting the teachers. Just saying.

And no-one said your son deserved what he got. But there were many mistakes made in this situation and some of them were yours and your son's.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2014

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Yes, I can certainly see where advocating personal responsibility on the part of the HS kid is 'no help', hence what's partially wrong with society today.

[deleted account]

Wow we have some angry people here by contacting the school first I agree I should have thought of that first. By the way to the other women who made a comment about my head up my butt I would never take your advise. As for teaching I believe theirs a policy that fathers or mothers should not teach his own sons class. I thought this website was for support not ignorance and bad mouthing. My son is 16 years old he took his phone out wow he made a litlle mistake. Nothing compared to what his father did. And if it was such a big deal with the school they gave his phone right back to him. He did not harm anyone by taking out a damn phone. Well now I know i wont come here for advise wrong website. My son has never disrespected any teachers so the cell phone matter is ridiculous thx but ladies you were no help.

Jodi - posted on 04/09/2014

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OK, firstly, I guarantee that this is not the first time your son has had his phone out in class. He is 16, I guarantee it has probably happened before. You just never knew about it before because it was never kept before. So basically, your son needs to stop getting it out in class.

Secondly, his father seems to have removed the phone because it was out. He made that choice as a teacher.

Finally, if the father refused to give it back at the end of the day, as a PARENT of a STUDENT, you should have contacted the school, not taken it on as a personal issue. What is the school's policy on confiscation of phones? THAT is where you should have started, because if he took it as a TEACHER, then he is obligated to follow that policy.

So while his dad should be charged for his behaviour (and quite frankly, someone with that kind of anger should not be teaching children), you needed to deal with this as a parent of a student, as if he were the teacher, and not take it up as a personal matter. If he was not doing the right thing by the school's policies, then you could have filed a complaint in that way.

[deleted account]

Actually my son does very well and I'm very proud of him he does not get away with things like you have mentioned should I say whatever lady. Nice way of explaining yourself. Quite honestly I do not value your opinion thx anyways point blank. How would I have known my sons father would have acted out this way over a phone. So no your wrong about avoided anything. This situation was handled wrong by his fathers doing not mine.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2014

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As LM said, the whole situation could have been easily avoided.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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Whatever lady. Sounds like your son gets away with a lot with you. Quite frankly this whole situation could have been avoided and you know it as well as we do. Point blank, your son never should have had his phone out. Period.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2014

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You stated that his phone was taken, given to the principal, who determined that he could have it back. Principal then (I'm inferring from your posts) gave the phone to the teacher of his next class (who happened to be the kids father). That teacher determined that the kid would NOT get his phone prior to class beginning. It doesn't matter that the teacher is the same person as the kid's father at this point. AS A TEACHER, he made the decision to not give the phone back until after class.

AS A TEACHER, that is his decision to make. If your son argued with him, and he kept the phone for longer, again, that is his discretion as the instructor of the class. You have to separate the 'father' from the 'teacher' persona, and your son needs to quit thinking the because the teacher is also his father that he'll be treated differently.

The assault, as we've BOTH told you, seems to have been addressed properly. Neither of us agreed with the handling of the assault situation, neither of us advocated that the kid's father was in the right in that instance. As I said, for THAT, your ex needs anger management.

I think probably what was running through the kid's mind is "man, dad's being an ass".

[deleted account]

EXACTLY what do you mean omg ONE teacher took his phone only ONE it was given back to him. Am I not writing clearly his father had no business keeping his phone he was not the ONE who took it from him. Letting my son get away with what a phone omg it happend ONCE. I'm not enabling his behavior what can enable his behavior is his dad trying to hurt him. What do you thinks is running through my sons mind son gets his father to beat him over a phone come on ladies. YES IM NOT DENYING MY SON TOOK HIS PHONE OUT OK OVER BELIEVE ME HE WILL NOT DO THAT AGAIN BUT NOT DO TO HIS FATHER JUST THE SIMPLE FACT THAT HE GOT IN TROUBLE BY HIS TEACHER.

[deleted account]

Yes I did ask for opinions thanks but your right not liking your answer thats my opinion. I dont believe that taking out his phone would cause a father to act in violence thats my point.

[deleted account]

No you dont seem to understand it happend once the phone was taken and given back to him by the assistant principal which was left on the desk. When my son walked in he went to get his phone the father said no. The phone was given back to my son father decided to keep it. Was not for him to keep and i totally disagree with you saying that this would have not happend if my son didnt take his phone out wow. And honestly I dont know whats going on I havent heard anything from anyone in this matter. All I know that this was handled correctly.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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It did not happen once, it happened twice in the same day. A different teacher had to take his phone, and he didn't learn his lesson. Does he deserve to be hit for it? Nope. But he does deserve to have the phone taken away. Any other parent would. The phone is the issue that started all the trouble. Letting your son get away with it is just enable his behavior. Have fun with that.

[deleted account]

Exactly I dont agree with you again such a concern over the phone happend once. Father had no right over the phone thanks for your comment I guess were not on the same page. I respect your opinion but the big issue is not the phone.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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You can disagree all you want. You specifically asked for opinions, and I am giving mine. Opinions vary, you don't have to like them but you asked for them.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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I think both are issues, but the one with the father is being dealt with, and the issue with the phone is being ignored.

[deleted account]

I do not agree with you LIttle Miss my son was not sleep walking nice remark. This was the first time my son took out his phone in class. I understand no phones in class but you seem to feel that the phone was more of a issue than the father acting out like he did.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2014

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I agree with Little miss.

1) The kid had absolutely no reason to have phone out in class. Either class. I'd have taken his phone away as well, and made him pick it up after school in the principal's office.

2) The kid knew that his dad was teaching that particular class. He shouldn't have expected preferential treatment.

3) your ex needs anger management training, and I'd request a change in visitation until that is complied with. Once the day was over, he should have given the phone back, or explained why he was keeping it, and the length of the punishment set.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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Well he knew he was teaching the class when he walked into the room unless he was sleep walking. No the matter was not handled correctly by your ex or your son. The point is, if your son cannot keep his phone in his pocket during school hours, he should have it taken away as punishment until he learns.

Your ex deserves charges brought against him no doubt, but your son is not innocent. No one deserves to be hit with a chair or beaten by a parent period. There is no excuse, but that does not excuse your son having his phone out during school hours.

[deleted account]

My sons did not take advantage he did not even know his father was teaching that class. So with all said was it right for my exhusband to do what he did over a cell phone. So with my son basically protecting himself now has a simple battery charge. I feel that this matter wasn't handle correctly.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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Well, I think your son should stop using his phone is school and your ex needs to control his temper. But if your son never had his phone out, his teacher (father and the other one) never would have had to take it away in the first place. Sounds like your son was taking advantage of the fact that his father happened to be teaching that class.

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