Teenager lack of hygeine and respect

Jcoupon1 - posted on 07/29/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son I believe does not respect myself or husband. He is 13 years old, does not wash his laundry, wears the same clothing day after day. Has to be reminded to wipe his bottom, has to be reminded to take showers, clip nails, brush his teeth, do his very few chores, does not clean his room and the kicker....He takes empty plastic bottles into his room and urinates in them. Then he will leave them in there until he is caught with them. His excuse is he does not want to stop what he is doing to go. Yes he has a TV and an X-box, those were taken away and he still does it. He has been to a psychologist who said that he does not have any signs of depression and that he may have ODD oppisitional defiance disorder. My husband and I are at our wits ends and don't know what to do anymore. We also have a 6 year old daughter but she is not like this and almost the oppisite. We do not play favroites in our house, and praise each child equally and individually for their accomplishments. It is just very hard to praise my son when he is acting like this. We do still praise him on the things he does outside of this issue. I really hope I am not the only mom out there with problems like this. I love him so much but it hurts to be watching helplessly while he does this. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

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Cathy - posted on 08/01/2011

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Judi - I think its a smart idea for you to remove the door to your son's room. He will have to earn privacy since he is making it hard on you and your husband to trust him to keep his room and himself clean. Best of luck to you!!!

Jcoupon1 - posted on 07/29/2011

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Cathy,
He has had some problems in the past, but I thought that we had nipped it in the bud, it has never been this bad. I do know his friends and after thinking about it, while they do seem pretty clean my son's hygine does not seem to bother them so maybe that is a clue. I just don't think I can take his friends from him as we live 15 miles from the nearest big city and the kids around here are the only kids for him to hang with, for the most part his friends are very respectful. The parents of his friends seem to be less concerned with their kids then I do, but they do get on them when they hear from me. I think the best way for me to make him start doing what needs to be done is to remove the door from his bedroom. The psychologist has spoken to him about this behavior and for a while it got better then he just slid back into this behavior. I really think it is just pure laziness which it the excat reverse of how our family funtions. Now I am beginning to think that this is his way of rebelling against my husband's and my authority. UGGGG!!!!!

Cathy - posted on 07/29/2011

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Hi Judi, I'm so sorry you are going through this with your son! I have a 5 year old daughter, so I am not at the teenage years yet. When did your son start this behavior? When he was younger did he have hygeine problems or did this start recently? Are you familiar with his friends or his friend's parents? Are any of those kids doing similar things?
Good that you took away the TV and game system! As for the empty plastic bottles - is there any way you can not allow him to take them to his room? Most kids - especially boys don't like to clean up their rooms, so that behavior seems pretty normal. Has the counselor you've taken your son to talked to him about why he does this behavior? Even though your son has no signs of depression, there must be something else going on which fuels this behavior.

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