Teenager's standard OOOKAAAAYYY response is driving me nuts.

Trisha - posted on 03/11/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

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This disrespectful response drives me NUTS. We had recently extended the 16 yr old's (boy) curfew by 30 mins on the weekday, and 1 hr on the weekend because he was acting mature, and respectful. The next time I hear this, (as it has been acknowledged that this is unacceptable) he will be going back to his old curfew for a week. Next time after that, I swear to god, I will make him stand in the corner like a little kid. Lol...

Any suggestions on how other Mom's have handled this, cause I am sure you ALL have.

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Trisha - posted on 03/12/2015

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Haha. I was thinking "WTF?!" to Adeline's response. I suspect my stepson is just frustrated with all the extra responsibilities he has taken on recently. He doesn't get as much free time as he used to since he agreed to start doing reno-work around the house for money for his dad.

Gena - posted on 03/12/2015

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Adeline is such a troll. And NO smoking weed around a baby just because the smoke "rises" is NOT ok! Also your other responses are so obvious that you are a bored teen. Try read a book and learn something instead of wasting your time annoying people.

Jodi - posted on 03/12/2015

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"Also teenagers find pregnant people annoying and weird."

Typical response from a teenager.

Adeline - posted on 03/11/2015

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Hes doing it to get a reaction from you. By being "driven nuts" you are giving him incentive. Also teenagers find pregnant people annoying and weird. Don't play the I'm pregnant card around him ever, OOOKAAAAYYYY? His okay is probably in response to something he finds considerably objectionable.

Trisha - posted on 03/11/2015

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He knows he is doing it. He might not notice at first, but it is brought to his attention. It is not like he hasn't been talked to about it before. it is brought to his attention every-time it has happened, and that is not changing his behavior. It is something that has started recently.

Sarah - posted on 03/11/2015

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I gotta say, like my daughter. does he even realize he is doing it? The GOOCHEE thing, while supe annoying, was forma reflex of the way she talks to fer friends. If, overall, he is compliant and respectful, then maybe just a talk is in order.

Trisha - posted on 03/11/2015

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Raye, Yes he is definitely agreeing, but telling me he is displeased with it. For example, yesterday i got all the garbages ready, picked up the dog poop and set everything by the door. All I needed (being 7.5 months pregnant) was for him to take everything out to the garbage. He knew I did all the annoying/hard work, and I got the "OOOKAAAAYYY" response.
We extended his curfew based on all the respect and maturity he has shown, so I am definitely taking away that privilege for the week since he seems to be loosing that skill. It has only been in the last 2 weeks that we extended his curfew.
He has been hanging out with one of his friends who talks this way to his father. He KNOWS it upsets me, as it has been mentioned on numerous occasions, and he caught himself once, and apologized for it.
I do like Ledia's approach though! Seems right up my ally.
I don't threaten to take away privileges without following through. I haven't even threatened it yet. Probably not going to give him any warning for it either, since it is a new privilege.

Ledia - posted on 03/11/2015

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When my son gives me a smart response to a request--agreeing to do what I've asked him to, but letting me know he isn't happy about it--I make whatever he agreed to worse.Try to relate the discipline to the instance in which he used the disrespectful tone.

For example, if I ask him to clean his room and he agrees, but does so disrespectfully, I tell him he can also clean the laundry room so that he can learn to appreciate that fact that he only has one room to clean.
If I tell him he needs to study his history a little more because I'm not sure he has the facts down well enough, and he protests, I make him write a short synopsis of the history chapter and how those event relate to present day life, or whatever. This ensures that he fully understands the information, and next time I ask him to read over the chapter once more, he will respectfully agree because he will appreciate the fact that all he has to do is read over it, and not write a whole paper.

Sarah - posted on 03/11/2015

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Does he realize he responds that way? My daughter has this way for saying "it is all good" by blurting out "GOOCHEE" I hate it and i have told her I will not tolerate her speaking to me the way she speak to her peers. So clarify that and if he seems OOOKAAYYY with it, then reverse the plan.
My kids would turn cartwheels for an extended curfew. If he seems unexcited about the prospect of more freedom, then tell him that his lack of enthusiasm shows he is not interested or ready for more freedom.

Raye - posted on 03/11/2015

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Is he actually agreeing to what you say or doing what you ask him when he gives you the "ooooookaaaaayyyy". If it's just his little way of saying he's displeased with the request, but still does what you ask, then maybe it's not worth getting bent out of shape about. But, it is disrespectful for him to keep doing it if you've asked him not to.

You should let him know that, in order to get adult privileges such as extended curfew, he needs to speak to you as a respectful adult. If you threaten to take away privileges, then you better follow through. Let him know exactly what can be done to earn those privileges back (probably a little more than your original request to stop saying "oookaayy") and the time frame to do it. Then it's in his hands.

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