Teenagers

Margot - posted on 07/28/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband whom is the step parent of my teenager girls is becoming very irritated by how they sometimes behave. I try to understand him but at the same time I feel as if his mother only comes over to makes things worst and complain about any little thing they do. If they don't do the dishes right, if they don't sweep right, if they wake up late. Can any one help me on how to help my husband deal with the teenager situation? I'm feeling as if the best thing to do is letting him go since he keeps saying he has to deal with a lot. My daughters aren't bad girls, but as normal teenagers at times they are lazy. I wonder if they ever went thru that stage? Help!!!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/28/2014

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So, they're basically ignoring him when he reminds them of their stated responsibilities?

How very mature of them! He's not nitpicking, he's expecting them to live up to assigned responsibilities. Tell your daughters to quit being snots and start acting their age. If they'd DO what they're supposed to, in a timely manner, most likely he'd have nothing to say.

I expect my 16 YO to be out of bed by no later than 9 on a day when he has no school, to complete his daily chores by 10 or so, and he's not allowed anything else until chores are done. I do have a specific method of doing dishes, or laundry, etc, and do expect him to follow those directions. If your kids aren't doing what they're told to do, and doing it in the manner in which it is supposed to be done (the correct way, in other words), then the problem lies with them.

They may THINK that their way is better, but that's not the point. The point is that they need to follow directions. Have them try that...see if things don't improve. Also tell them to quit doing the annoying things like eye rolls, etc, whenever he speaks to them. It will help both sides if they can act their age.

Margot - posted on 07/28/2014

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We have family discussion once a month, we also have rules and chores for them to do. Which they do because I have a monthly calendar that reminds them of their responsibilities.
He points out that he speaks to them and ask them to do it and at times they don't listen. Which he comes to me and speaks to me about it and I enforce the rules again.
What else can I do besides that? I also feel as if his mother makes things worst. We got back together after a year of separation. Sometimes i wonder if perhaps they are how they r with him because of all that happened.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/28/2014

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Well, ARE your kids fulfilling their responsibilities or not?

If they are not, then the fault is not with your husband, but rather with your daughters, and yourself enforcing what they are supposed to be doing.

If they are, and hubby's getting picky, it's time to point out that he can't change the rules to suit him, and if he feels that things need to change, there needs to be a discussion involving all family members.

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