Teens and computers

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

My 15 yr old son has never had his father around and so I make and enforce all the rules. I'm 33 with two other children and newly married. The new step-father isn't respected for good reasons and I don't blame my kids for that. So...I just woke up, it's 5:30 am, my 15 yr old is up on his computer still, this has been EVERY night for months, and I'm exhausted. I have taken it away and then he "earns it" right back that same day or the following. My dad says he knows how to emotionally manipulate me. I agree but just can't put a finger on when it's happening. I just went in his room and said, "I'm f-ing sick of this. It's 5:30 and you just keep breaking my rules." I raised my hand above my head with a gesture of being filled up and said, "I've had it. I'm not going to bother taking it tonight, I'm tired and going back to bed but tomorrow....you just lost it for a looong time. Maybe a month, I don't know. " I walked out and grabbed my phone and googled. I found you all on the first try.
I'm very overwhelmed with my own mushiness and lack of backbone. I can be very tough and he follows all other rules but three, and this being the worst.
I've been afraid he'll take off and be out after dark, make unhealthy relationships, expiriment etc.
any thoughts moms? Please?

3 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 04/12/2015

3,524

36

3906

Why do you keep giving the computer back? You need to be firm about the consequences and stop allowing him to earn it back in a day. That's just ridiculous.

I also assume he was up on the internet. You need to change your internet password and not allow him to have it. This way you can control when he accesses it. If the computer is in his room, then move it - computers with internet access should be in public areas of the house where you can supervise what they are accessing.

I, too, and concerned about you saying their step father isn't respected for good reason. This is a HUGE issue, although it has nothing to do with this issue that I can see. However, it is still and issue.

Dove - posted on 04/12/2015

11,622

0

1348

*I am very concerned that you said your husband doesn't deserve to be respected for good reasons. That has red flags for me! Why are you still with this man? What has he done?

That was my very first thought when reading this as well. If you are newly married to a man that your children have good reason NOT to respect... how can you expect them to respect you either? YOU put them in that position. Not cool.

I agree w/ Michelle's other point as well. When it comes to the rules and consequences in your home you are just going to have to set them (thinking reasonably and rationally first) and keep them.

Michelle - posted on 04/12/2015

3,555

8

3244

You need to tell him he has lost computer/internet access for _ days and stick to it. He doesn't "earn" it back any earlier. Make sure when you go to bed you disconnect the internet so he can't get up during the night and use it.

I am very concerned that you said your husband doesn't deserve to be respected for good reasons. That has red flags for me! Why are you still with this man? What has he done?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms