Tell me, How do I make it thru teenage years?

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Ginny - posted on 11/07/2009

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Not knowing if you have a son or daughter, I can only tell you what I did. I have 2 girls and 1 boy, all grown up now. First, let them know that their friends are welcome in your home anytime, as long as you or your spouse are home. Encourage them to talk to an adult about what's bothering them. Allow them to get angry and encourage them to tell you "I'm angry and I want to be left alone." Once they say that, give them 10 minutes and seek them out. Give them limits and then listen when they need to talk. Be flexible because each teen is different. The rules that worked with my oldest daughter did not work with my youngest. Remember you are not their friend, you are their parent. Good luck.

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Susan - posted on 11/13/2009

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First you PRAY! Then you listen as much as u can and try to understand it not easy for them too, Then you try to be as patient as u can...don't take things that seriously....Its just a phase. I have a 15 yr old so please know I do know its not easy! I'll be praying for you.......Most of all don't try to be there friend in these yrs...just be her mother....

Sarah - posted on 11/10/2009

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My daughter is going to be ten a two months, she's so excited cuz she'll be a "tween". Help!! haha. I feel your pain. Everyone told me that having a baby is the bad part, that was a breeze for me, I'm fearing teen-hood. My daughter is already moody at times, can't wait for periods!! At least I have a good idea what to expect and I have set the foundation. Good Luck.

Rosemarie - posted on 11/10/2009

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I've got two teenage gals and they're wonderfully cooperative with what I teach them. Firstly, I am open to them and they should be open to me about anyhting! I make it a point I am always there to talk with or goof around with them even if they're teeners.Let them know the rules and do not be tight on them, give them freedom to choose with regards to their get-ups, likes in extra-curricular activities in school(these show what their inclination in later years,like what course to take in college,etc.).You offer suggestions and recommendations.Best of all, you and your teeners should communicate....They'll be like your younger sisters/brothers.....

Jeri - posted on 11/09/2009

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I'm feeling your pain-BUT every time my teen & pre-teen daughters act up & I feel like killing them I get out the photos of myself from 1988 when I had black/pink spiked hair & wore black lipstick. At that point I take a deep breath & remember what my Mom went through with me- then I go back to my daughters, tell them I will love them always & that one of these days when they are older they will call me crying apologizing for all the stuff they did when they were young & again I will tell them I will always love them- just like my mom did when I call her way back when I was 20.What I’m saying is you will get through it- they will grow up & one of these days it will seem so different.

Lisa - posted on 11/07/2009

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Very well said, Kim. Foundations as soon as they are born is the key - if you wait until they're teenagers to show them who's boss, it's too late. Consequences for any actions - always - and they should know these in advance (if possible), i.e., if you do this, then this will happen, etc. Make the punishment fit the crime. You have to be on top of things at all times - be one step ahead of them - almost like a private detective (if you have reason to be). I have raised two teenage boys (both in their 20's now) and have another 15 year old boy at home. Raising teenagers doesn't have to be hell (as some people told me it would be) - as long as the foundation is laid when they're young. And, as was said before, be the PARENT, not the friend. If you try to be your kids' friend, you're robbing them of a parent. We made it through the "terrible teens" with little to no problems at all because they were scared to death to get into trouble with me or their dad which was instilled in them when they were younger.

Kim - posted on 11/07/2009

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Melissa, you need to set the foundations as soon as they are born! Let them know that there are rules and consequences from when they are little and the most important thing is that they learn that when you say 'No' to any request or demand that 'No' will always be the result of any further badgering. Explain your reasons and discuss this with them. Teenagers will try to push the limits - that's their job! But you must remain firm and never, ever give in - it's a sign of weakness to a teenager so they just keep chipping away until they break you down. DO NOT give in! Both my daughter and son got through their teenage years knowing that they were loved, cared for and protected. And if mum said 'No' then that was the end of the matter. It takes a lot of energy but if you start when they are little, then most of the battle is over.
Good luck,
Kim

Tania - posted on 11/07/2009

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well good luck with that one,Ihave been thru that one but now i have 2 adults and they can be a hand full,they still fight like cats and dogs,some times u want 2 bash there heads together,some times not, From my experience with teenagers,boys are not as much trouble pretty low maintennance,lol, but girls yeah thats another thing,they tend mature quicker than boys and grow up to quick,they invade your space and your kitchen and you become invaded,and there a nightmare to go shopping with,so slow,and the crap you have to put up with when boys start comimg into the picture ouch' mood swings and bitchy ness and the pouting slamming doors,i can not for the life of me remember myself doing that,but according to mum yep i did that too.ha ha lol you have to have the patients of a saint in todays generation,the one thing i always tried to be with my daughter is her mother not her friend you get to comfortable with being together, you forget about others,your own friends that dont include her 24 seven.and her circle of friends so that she can be herself a learn to grow knowing that you are always in the background looking in now and again, and us times and you time ,easier said than done huh.sorry about the rambling

Sharon - posted on 11/07/2009

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steal your kid's drugs.

start beating them.

I hear marijuana is a miracle thing.

My son is only 14 and can have one heck of a mouth on him. He's mouthed off to me twice and I've put him down twice. He hasn't gone back to that since. If he does, I'm going to find ways to make him hurt. And I'm not talking about beatings. His cell phone is precious to him. If I snap that in half he'll get the sense I'm a little pissed off.

Deb - posted on 11/07/2009

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Very carefully, it completely depends on your children and what types of activities they are into. I have two in their 20s and one about to turn 18. Each child was completely different.

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