telling my 3 adult children about the infidelity of their dad for about 40 years

Mugsy F. - posted on 03/28/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband left me pregnant with my 2 little kids .He had been with a woman with 2 kids for about 12 years . he went and helped the woman divorced her husband . the woman was not divorce yet . he went & they lived together while processing the divorced . he was giving me $150. ever months for food and utility of the house. i had a boy he was not there during the birth of my son . one day i asked him to came back . he did he want me not to be talking about his double life. i was still some times bring out about it. he was still seeing his lover covertly i keep asking him if he does and he always lied .
i know he was still seeing he so I took a job out of state. the kids stayed with him and i do come home once a months. and the came and visit me if the kids have long vacation.
then I relocate back home.i never had any clue he had another woman. for 25 years . now i found out and we always have fight about his double life. now he does want me to tell my adult kids that most of life with him are all fake, he had been pretending. he still want to have his family but he can he can not give up his other life. it wise to keep pretending with my adult kids . help me.

4 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 03/28/2015

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If you tell your kids, you are doing it not in their best interests, but in yours. It would only be because you are hurting. If the kids don't already know, leave it at that. Ask yourself what exactly you want to accomplish by telling them.

Sarah - posted on 03/28/2015

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They know......kids see things sometimes more so then adults do. They may even have known before you did. Just as you have chosen to live with it so have they. There is no good that comes from addressing this with them. It is what it is and you made your choice to stay a long time ago which also made the choice for your kids to learn how to deal with things how they are. They have done this. Now it is your job to not make the scars bigger by dumping your hurts and frustrations onto them. Even though they are adults there are things that you just do not share as it damages the relationship between them and you as well as them and dad.

Mugsy F. - posted on 03/28/2015

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thank you, i do not know about kids knowing about his covert almost 43 years of double life, 12 years to first woman with 2 kids when my kids were young . Now 25 years with one kids and still going strong he goes to see her at lest 2 x a month or more ? he always say he is going for training. or job related .

Sarah - posted on 03/28/2015

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Your adult children probably already know and don't bring it up to protect your feelings. They lived with this man all of those years.

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