Telling my mum?

Helena - posted on 05/04/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I'm 17, 18 in December. I'm 7months pregnant to my now ex-boyfriend.



I broke it off with him because he kept forcing me into sex and I later found out I was pregnant. My mum has told me time and time again, she will kick me out and not care about me if I ever get pregnant at a young age.

Help me. I really don't know how to tell her.

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Jane - posted on 05/04/2011

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oh, sweetheart. you need to put your baby first. have a close friend or aunt or cousin do it w/you if you need the support to tell her. the reality of things may change her mind. she may be reactive at first but you need all of the support you can get for this baby. being in an abusive relationship tweaks things. in hindesight maybe she was laying down the law b/cv she saw the way things were going and didn't knw how to pull you out of the relationship. you'll find that moms only want the best for their kids and you'll understand soon why she does the things she does.

find the support of someone in your lives that you both love to be by your side to help you tell her. someone who can help you both figure things out from here. you have a lot to figure out, you're going to need your mom by your side.

the one piece of advice i'd like you to consider very serioulsy - be sure your baby has your last name and your last name only. for two reasons, first, that is something that must be earned and second, as a young mom, you need any and all of the state assistance programs you can get, WIC, Food Stamps, housing, etc. thankfully, single-moms do have support in these programs. it is much easier to put a name on your baby later than to try to take it off. if things work out and you marry him, then put his name on the birth certificate, but to take it off is nearly impossible.

i wish you all of the best.

Katherine - posted on 05/04/2011

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You did the right thing by making him your ex. I think that maybe your mom is scared.....and like Jane said turn to other family members.
Don't hesitate to ask for help though, you can't do this alone. There ARE services and if you want them PM me :)

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Karli - posted on 05/04/2011

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I had a baby when I was 16. I was terrified to tell my parents, but I just came out with it. There is no easy way to say it and trust me your parents will love you no matter what, she might even offer you the help and support that you need. I know that my fear and terror of telling my parents very quickly dissolved into relief and I was so glad I told them.

America3437 - posted on 05/04/2011

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Just tell her before she finds out someother way and you defiently don't want that to happen. You did the right thing by leaving this jerk... and I'm sure if you explain all to your mom she will some how try to understand. Look we as mom's will love our children NO MATTER WHAT and it sounds like you can really use her support! If for some reason she doesn't come around you have a whole community of mom's here that would be glad to guide you through those sleepless nights and tear filled days!

Jaquelyn - posted on 05/04/2011

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Just tell her....Tell her everything...The truth is always best! I'm a Mom now, but I have been there too. She may be upset at first but a Mothers love runs so much deeper than words. If the worst happens...RISE above it and show her that you can succeed at life....be it to.. raise a baby or find a loving family to raise your baby do what is best for your child and she will come around.

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I can promise you...your mom is NOT going to stop loving you just because this happened. NOTHING can make your Mom stop loving you.

Nothing.

It is completely understood you have GOT to tell your Mom. IMMEDIATELY.
My biggest concern is prenatal care! Have you seen a doctor? Have you been taking prenatal vitamins? You haven't consumed any drugs with this cool-ass boyfriend...have you?
Now go tell your Mom! You NEED her right now...and I promise, she will not let you down. Walk in the room with her, take a nice deep breath...and spit it out. Fear is your worst enemy...not your mom.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/04/2011

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I agree with Jane. Sometimes mom's make empty threats seeing where something may lead ..to hopefully fear their child into doing what's right. The reality of the situation will change her threat most likely. You need to tell her NOW ..you are alread 7 months..she needs time to prepare and get money set aside and let it sink in. Don't wait until you bring the baby home to tell her.

There's only one way to say it..truthfully. Be honest ..tell it like it is.

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