Telling paternal family they've a grandchild & nephew

Tallia - posted on 08/08/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi just looking for a bit of advice on how to write a letter to my baby's paternal family to tell them about him ! Their son wants nothing to with him & had mentioned nothing to them about him ? I feel helpless ;(

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2015

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Let me ponder on that for a bit, Tallia. i'll get back to you

Tallia - posted on 08/08/2015

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What exactly do you think I should state in the letter? Thank you so much for this you don't realise how good it feels to talk about it

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2015

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That's why I'm wondering if he doesn't want them to know, because he knows that he's in the wrong.
I'm betting you'd get quite a lot of emotional support from them, and they may be helpful in getting him to pull his head out of his ass

Tallia - posted on 08/08/2015

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He hasn't got much of a relationship with his family he left once that happened that wasn't long once he wS finished school & ive not seen or heard from him since! It's to have it on paper so I can have it if my son asks and have it already done so my son doesn't have to go through it later in life ! His mom & sisters pass me daily in work and it is tough ! I'm lucky with the support I have very lucky I'm blessed

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2015

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His parents should be able to help with the DNA. I'm sorry he's such a jackass. He DOES have a responsibility, whether he likes it or not. I certainly hope that paternity proves, just so that you can have the satisfaction of handing him court orders for support.
You may say that your son won't need it, but every bit helps, and this man needs to be responsible for his actions. After all, he had no problem having sex, did he? He can't just play and not be responsible. That's not how life is.
I'm wondering if he doesn't want to tell his parents, because he knows they'll side with you on the support?

Tallia - posted on 08/08/2015

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Thanks for the comment :) when I found out I was pregnant he left the state we are in and actually moved countries I went to solicitor there was nothing I could do obviously until baby was born as I had to apply for residence to get him home here & don't have that kind of money as I am 21 solicitor said writing a letter is best solution to start with . I contacted him again he wants nothing to do with 'the problem' I don't want to force him as my son doesn't need any financial needs from him & worn gain anything as he doesn't want to be involved . I just want to inform them . He is denying he even is his so I want to get a DNA test done I'm wondering if they can help as he wont work with me on that either .

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2015

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First of all, whether or not he wants 'nothing to do' with the child, if paternity is proven, he has a legal responsibility to assist in care, and I would hope that you've taken legal steps to get him put on support, and asked for a visitation schedule to be set, so that you and your child are protected in that way.
Second, I'd write a nice little note to his parents, include pictures of the baby, let them know that they DO have a grandchild, and that you'd like them to have a relationship with the child, regardless of his father's desires to that end. Don't make it about "Your son won't support his child", but rather about how you know that having loving people involved with a child is helpful and beneficial to the child.

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