The baby is not hesitant to go to everyone

Pallavy - posted on 01/11/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I am a new mom so a bit curious to know about many things about my 4 month old baby. I had a pre mature delivery due to which I am a bit more worried than normal moms.the recent worry for me is that he goes to everyone may be he still doesnot recognises me. Should I be worried for him??He never hesitates to go to a stranger as well.and as far as I know babies start crying when they see someone unknown.and its not that from beginning he is with everyone its me who has taken care of him from the day he was born.Pls advise..

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Pallavy - posted on 04/19/2013

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My baby too was a pre term baby and has stayed in NICU for more than a month. Thats the reason I worry...are you talking abt this with some experience or just saying to console me : )

Pallavy - posted on 04/19/2013

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My baby too was a pre term baby and has stayed in NICU for more than a month. Thats the reason I worry...are you talking abt this with some experience or just saying to console me : )

[deleted account]

Actually, the fact that he goes to others willingly is a very good thing--it means he has a very strong bond with you.

Babies who have very strong bonds with their mothers go to others more easily because there is no fear that mom is not coming back, or that mom will not be back for a long time. Baby also has a deep trust for mom, so he know instinctively that if you approve of the person he is being handed off to, he is safe. Be proud that you have instilled in him a strong confidence in you!

On the other hand, babies with weaker bonds tend to be more clingy towards their mother because there is an insecurity about her time. The child is in constant fear that mom will leave and not come back, or leave and stay gone for a long time. This can happen when babies are not held or comforted enough in their earliest days (very common for babies who spend time in NICU), but more often it is just that the baby's mind is more wired for caution. Those babies will require a lot more holding and will always be a little more cautious than the others--difficult at first, but with the right amount of nurture this can become a very important strength.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/18/2013

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That is not necessarily true. Some babies are not fearful. That can change quickly a couple of months down the road.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/18/2013

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That is not necessarily true. Some babies are not fearful. That can change quickly a couple of months down the road.

Pallavy - posted on 04/18/2013

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Thanks to all who replied...I started going to office when he completed 6 months and was curious to see his expression but my bad luck again he is least bothered when I leave or come back home... really worried with his this kind of behavior..I wonder if he recognises his mom...or will he be more attached to my in laws since they are taking care of him and he is with him almost all the day..will he be detached with me...but if I think about the past I was with him the entire day still he is not close to me.I sometimes cry with this kind of behaviour..pls can someone suggest something...may be Im over possessive....

Pallavy - posted on 04/18/2013

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Thanks to all who replied...I started going to office when he completed 6 months and was curious to see his expression but my bad luck again he is least bothered when I leave or come back home... really worried with his this kind of behavior..I wonder if he recognises his mom...or will he be more attached to my in laws since they are taking care of him and he is with him almost all the day..will he be detached with me...but if I think about the past I was with him the entire day still he is not close to me.I sometimes cry with this kind of behaviour..pls can someone suggest something...may be Im over possessive....

Michelle - posted on 01/12/2013

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It wasn't until my girl was 10/11 months that "stranger danger" set in. I felt the same as you, that she couldn't care less if I existed. Trust me, it changes. At 13 months she knows her "ma MAAA"

Dove - posted on 01/11/2013

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2/3 of my kids would go to just about anyone at any age. Only one of the 3 ever had any real (and it was extreme) stranger/separation anxiety.

The one with extreme separation anxiety didn't start til he was 6 months old.

[deleted account]

he is still a little young to be getting separation anxiety. i don't think it usually comes on until 6 to 8 months of age, or maybe even later. babies aren't very discriminatory. if the person is willing to hold them and feed them they don't really care

Jodi - posted on 01/11/2013

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He's not at an age yet that he has anxieties about strangers. Babies are very trusting creatures. But it isn't until they are a few months older than your little one that they start to experience what is technically called separation anxiety. You have done nothing wrong, he is fine. He recognises you, but doesn't yet understand the potential risk of strangers.

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