The bully at school...

Katie - posted on 08/20/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My little girl just started Kindergarten last week and she loves school. On the way home she rides the bus to daycare and she has to hold hands walking from the bus to the school with this little boy who will squeeze her hand really hard. When they are on the bus he tries to break her glasses and bend her fingers back and when she says "no" he continues to be rude and tell her he hates her. I have brought this up with the teacher and daycare provider and bus driver but this little boy doesn't care how he treats any little kid. He is a bigger than my daughter. My little girl has a huge heart and didn't want to tell anyone because she was afraid he would continue to be more mean. She would just put her glasses away in her bag and try to avoid him. If things don't get better now that it is brought to the bus driver, daycare, and teacher's attention how shall I approach his parents?

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Sha_albano28 - posted on 08/25/2015

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Honestly, if i were in your shoe, i would talk to the parent's and tell them what happened. And i would also talk to the principal and demand for some good outcome because bullying could ruin a child's self esteem and remember it until they grow up. I would approach the kids parent's and sit them down and talk to them and have them assure me that they would do something about their child.

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Katie - posted on 08/20/2015

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Thank you for your advice and I know one day she will find her voice! Until then mommy and daddy will keep an eye out! We have taken all the steps to stop this situation from happening again and if it does then the other child's parents as well as the bus driver and teacher will be having a sit down with us so we can sort all this out!

Sarah - posted on 08/20/2015

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I hope it goes better today. I was a worrier as a young child too. It was just part of my personality. Lot of encouragement and support from you and her teachers will help I am sure. Fingers crossed!

Katie - posted on 08/20/2015

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They only problem with having another buddy is there isnt another little kid that is in her class that rides the same bus to the same location. I have asked the teacher to instead send her helper out to the bus with the kids to make sure he isnt harming my child and the bus driver sent an email stating that he is letting my little one sit somewhere else. It just shocked me that a 5 year old could be so mean. He hit my little girl because he didnt like the color of her glasses. She has epilepsy and has triggers and one is her getting upset or worked up can trigger one so not only do I worry of him hurting her I see him triggering her to get all upset and worked up and causing her to have a seizure. Hopefully today will be a better day as I mentioned before. Just hope she can find her little voice and not worry so much

Sarah - posted on 08/20/2015

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She is still a little girl and finding your voice can be very hard at any age. Since this starts as they are leaving school for the bus, you can ask the teacher to assign her a different buddy to walk and sit with on the the bus, then it's on the bus driver o make sure she is safe. Sounds like the day care is intervening and hopefully the parents talking to the boy is all that will need to be done to fix it.

Katie - posted on 08/20/2015

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I will keep telling her to stick up and tell the adult that is there incharge..

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/20/2015

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If she is still having a problem on the bus, as she gets off, she needs to stop and speak with the driver at that time.
Getting our kids to stick up for themselves can be hard, but just keep reinforcing that, if someone is mean to her, it has to stop, and adults will help.

Katie - posted on 08/20/2015

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The daycare provider has talked to the child's parent last night and she is telling them. She told them yesterday.. My problem is that my child is afraid of telling on the other child because she doesn't want to cause trouble for him... I may have worded it wrong so here is my other question... How do I get her to protect her big heart? She tells the kid no and told the daycare because she isnt loud enough to get the bus driver's attention. I want her to feel free to stand up for herself but she is afraid of hurting feelings and I cant get her to not worry about that? We have explained to her that it is ok to tell an adult because she shoulnt have to deal with that. The provider said the little boy's dad wasnt happy hearing his son was rude to a little girl. I dont know how else to tell my little one that it is ok to tell if the little boy wont stop and is mean still. Hoping to get better results when she comes home today.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/20/2015

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School buses are under the jurisdiction of the school district, not the daycare. If the incident is happening from school to the bus and on the bus, it needs to be handled by the school district. If the bus driver isn't doing anything, then talk to the next in line, the transportation director. If they do not follow through, up the chain to the district office.

If it is continuing into the daycare, and the daycare seems to not be handling it, then request your child be moved out of the area with the other kid, and request a meeting with the daycare authorities. If they STILL don't handle it, then request that they set up a meeting with you, the daycare director, and the other child's parent.

As a last resort, you can change daycares, which would presumably put your child onto a different bus. However, if your daughter is not mentioning anything to her teacher, or bus driver, or daycare person, they may think that there isn't really a problem and that you may be blowing things out of proportion. She NEEDS to speak up to an adult each time something happens.

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