The dark side of motherhood :)

Merry - posted on 05/01/2011 ( 80 moms have responded )

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We all love to brag about our kids right! How smart they are, how well they are developing, how healthy they are etc, but all the love in the world still can't make us enjoy every single part of being a mom!

What is your dark side of being a mom?
What parts do you wish would just go away?

For some it could be the poopy diapers, or the sleepless nights, or the sore nipples, or maybe it's toilet training, or the toddlers who talk back, or maybe the annoying kids movie you have to put on over and over!

What is it for you?

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Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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My dark side is sometimes wishing my children weren't born. It's only for a few fleeting moments after the rarely especially hard days of a toddler with no naps, mopping the kitchen floor four or five times, several baths, putting clothes away, picking up clothing from the princess' wardrobe changes, wiping smeared chapstick off the cat, and praying that I can set her down for just 5 minutes... followed by afternoon homework, hundreds - really - of hotwheels cars to dodge in the living room, finding lego pieces to make the project *because I only need that one piece MOOOOOOM", pulling the toddler off the cat *again*, telling the toddler to STAY OFF THE CAT!!!, trying to get laundry put away (or get the older one to put it away himself), trying to convince the drama king that if he ignores his sister picking on him she will go away, trying to convince him that if he stops antagonizing her they will get along, putting the toy babies away, finding Barbie's shoe, pulling the toddler off the cat *again*. Meanwhile, when they aren't doing any of the above, they are GLUED to me. Screaming in the grocery store. My children always have to be right and take no issue in arguing with adults...I didn't teach them this, they must be born natural debators :-/
Then having DH come home to ask what I've done all day as he sweeps and mops the kitchen floor...

And then I sit and have my son read to me before bed, talk about his day, and have that one last cuddle. Snuggle with my toddler after dinner as she holds my hand or strokes my face as I have always done for her... and I am amazed at how perfect they are and wouldn't want them to belong to anyone else.

Isobel - posted on 05/01/2011

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HA...Q ate cereal for breakfast, then porridge, then a bagel with peanut butter and honey, THEN yoghurt, AND grapes, then we had stirfry for dinner...and he came to me five minutes after dinner and said (for the tenth time today) "I'm hungry...what can I eat?"

Homework is absolutely brutal...there is this bizarre balance between what "should" be common knowledge and seems impossible to explain...AND the stuff I don't even know yet myself.

my favorite though, is trying to imagine how to deal with my 10 year old daughter's impending puberty...and then...god forbid...sexuality

:/ whattayagonnado?

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2011

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I'd say the dark side is the moments where I want to run away because of the constant "mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mommy..." or the constant "Noooooo!!!!" *meltdown* or the fact that putting the baby down is a guaranteed screamfest.

I love my sons. I have 3 of them. It's just sometimes I wish I were far far away from them. Not always.. But on those long rainy days when I can't kick them out into the back yard... Lol!!

Oh and I suppose the worry. I can hardly sleep at night sometimes I worry so much. The ppd I could do without too.

Tanisha - posted on 05/04/2011

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The whining!! I have 19 mo old boy/girl twins & my little girl has always been the whiner especially at night. Ugh! "Mommeeee, mommeeee". My son does the whiny noise sometimes too. Drives me up the wall!

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Carrie - posted on 05/08/2011

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Let's see, maybe the throwing objects at me while I am driving, or screaming at me when they don't get their way, or throwing my valuable things and breaking them, or cleaning poopy underwear every single day....hmmm...does life get better after 3?

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/07/2011

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I want a few dopplegangers. The worst part of motherhood is there aren't enough of me and me wants some sleep

Rosemary - posted on 05/07/2011

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The dark side of being a mom is knowing that one day your precious child will turn into a hormone enraged teenager.... its llike waiting on an unexploded bomb going off....believe me I have been there once already.

Micheline - posted on 05/06/2011

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Motherhood is a job a very hard job most days. It's filled with sleepless nights. Tears of joy and tears of disapoitment. It will teach us paitence, long suffering, kindness, give us inner strength. Most of all looking back there are things I would like to forget. But the very best is when your children come to you when they are grown and say "Mom thank you for making me do my chores"
"Mom you did a good job and we were difficult for you"
I have raised 5 children and now have 9 grandchildren. So all in all it is all worth it and I would do it all over again.

Ashley - posted on 05/06/2011

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I think the only thing I wish is that there were two of me once in a while, that way one of me could go and work in my garden when its not rainy. I am drowning in things that I need to do and if I take time to go out it has to be an hour that he is sleeping, if he sleeps that whole hour. anyone who gardens knows an hour flies by. I would like just a day to work out there or two with my hubby home and more than happy to fullfill Lance's needs without my help.

Paula - posted on 05/05/2011

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with me its grown kids who think they know everything dirty diapers are nothing compared to a grown child with grown problems

Jane - posted on 05/05/2011

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My kids are also almost grown, with one off to college.

With my daughter I think the worst thing was the sleepless nights. She turned out to have a health issue that wasn't properly diagnosed until she was 2 1/2 years old so there were many. many nights that she would cry and cry and cry because she hurt. I still remember standing outside my boss' office at work waiting to see him and falling asleep while leaning on the wall.

With my son it would have to be either the age-inappropriate total meltdowns or his tendency to call me b*tch and scream at me when he is angry or his delight in rubbing poop on a variety of surfaces including walls, cabinets, floors and so on. But then, he is ADHD, ODD and Bipolar, and his meds are working now.

Actually, I suppose what I could really do without is the brain damage that makes him ADHD, ODD and Bipolar. It would be so much easier to have a son who will leave home and get a job someday and just be a normal hormonal teen, instead of someone that I have to assess daily as "is he a risk to himself or others today?" If yes, then it's off to residential treatment we go yet again.

Wendy - posted on 05/05/2011

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The days my kids argue with each other all day drives me nuts. And they are old enough to know better by now. Those days keep me stressed out....and my whole day goes bad for me!!

Heidi - posted on 05/05/2011

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the sleepless nights and the sore nipples, and somtimes I miss being able to do what i want to when I want to with out feeling guilty.

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

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If I could get rid of talking back and if they actually listened and did what you say without questioning it, motherhood would be perfect for me!!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/04/2011

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My older daughter is suddenly intersted in seeing everyon's private parts. She even invades the washroom when my dad's using it and asks to see them! This I can definitely due without

Jane - posted on 05/04/2011

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Huh...well, my kids are 21 and 17 so I'm having to think back. I think the one thing I could have completely done without is the hormonal years of a teenager (both boy AND girl).

Maxima Fleurdelis - posted on 05/04/2011

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tantrums in the shop!! taht wud just really embarassed me and wud luv to leave her there!! one time, we drove to the park, and i thought it wud be a nyc idea for her to experience catching the bus, LLOOOOVED it!!! but when we get to our stop, u can pretty much guess wat hap[pende, she doesnt want to get off the bus!! she was screaming, kicking and just embarassed me to bits!!

Caroline - posted on 05/04/2011

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I have been a single mum for over 16 years and have always put my kids first to the point that I never do anything just for me. I don't mind that and I have accepted that when they are ready they will fly the nest and never look back as they make their own way in life. The thing that really wears me down is the constant judgement, criticism and condemnation from others, including schools. Well you know what? My kids probably get more one on one time and more family time than most of the kids we know from two-parent families! We eat together every night, we discuss news events and are actively involved in each others lives. We tell each other we love each other every day and my teens don't hang out on the streets at night - their choice. It would be nice to see single mums getting a bit of credit once in a while, its not always their fault that they have to struggle on alone and most of them just quietly get on and do it.

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I wouldn't change a thing.Even the mistakes we learn from.Wait maybe just the sore nipples..god they hurt like hell..if you could b/f without sore or cracked nipples..it would be fantastic.:-)

Merry - posted on 05/04/2011

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Yup, I'd love to be able to take a pee in privacy too! Clingy two year old is sometimes the sweetest thing, but man, can't I eat my food once without being interrupted!!!

Stifler's - posted on 05/04/2011

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haha. i will be honest, i felt that way at 0-10 months but now that he walks and feeds himself it's so much better.

Lynn - posted on 05/04/2011

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i love my son to bits, but he is 7 month old and is really really clingy. i love that he wants to be with me but hate the fact that he is stuck to me 24/7. i feel horrible. i hope i'm not alone having these feelings.

Tah - posted on 05/03/2011

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And that there is always something on the floor somewhere...my husband cleans like he works for macho maids and I try to keep it relatively decent in between, but if you pick up a sock, a shoe appears, get that, a toy falls out the sky...I think they are magicians.....

Tah - posted on 05/03/2011

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It's the fact that my kids have radar that always goes off when I'm sleeping...studying...watching a good movie or 2 seconds from sexual bliss with the husband...it propels them to the door and makes them say mom...mom...mom...over and over..then when I answer...they want me to know something they've already told me 20 times or for me to get something they could have gotten themselves or for each other....

Sal - posted on 05/03/2011

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and i hate to say this here but other mums, my freinds are lovely people but mums as a group can be the most nasty and judgemental people on earth

Sal - posted on 05/03/2011

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tantrums and breast feeding, i truely hated it, i did it while it worked (between 3 to 6 months each baby) but when it stopped you couldn;'t get me a bottle quick enough

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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wow...i read all these and would prolly say one or more of them at any given time...right now id just like my 5 (almost 6)yr old to listen more so that i dont have to tell her 10 times to do somehting before i get mad! and my 2 (almost 3) yr old seems way older then he is...he has a horrible temper id love to take some (not all ) of it away i just ahte it when he get mad cuz i tell him no or somehting and he throws toy at me! and i wish i had more patience and less of a temper myself hmmm...wonder where he gets it (although the throwing stuff is from his dad) lol

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I have occasionally wished everyone would just go away, but the moments don't last long because one of my boys will do something that cracks me up.

My eldest son's current state of turbo boost (testosterone boost at age 4). The screaming and whining and absolute meltdowns over nothing gets to me every day. Meanwhile, the 2 year old is doing the "terrible twos" type tantrums. O.M.G. I'm getting it on both fronts!

The only other thing I could do without is gastro. The constant diarrhea and vomiting for days, which means constant changes of clothes (loads of laundry daily), sleepless nights worrying (also on 'round the clock monitoring, changing, doctoring duty). Thankfully my sons haven't had it very often, but when it strikes it sure beats you down quick.

Leta - posted on 05/03/2011

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With my 4 y/o son it has got to be his attitude... he is so sweet and loving but man, tell him no or to do something and he flips! The 9 y/o i wish I could take away all his disorders :( That would be for his sake as much as mine. Now, I also have a 19 y/o girl, I absolutly HATED from 13 on!!! I mean she still has this chip on her shoulder and seems to think everyone owes her something. She is so disrespectful to everyone! I love her to death but boy do we clash! Being a teen she knew/knows everything so nothing you say is going to make a difference. Yes.... I even got phone calls from jail!!! The first one I went to get her and was calm, the 2nd time I went but was p.o'd and she knew it, the 3rd time I made her sit there! Did she learn at all? NOPE... that's why I kicked her out!!
Tough love I guess.... My boys are angels compared to her;)

Alexandra - posted on 05/03/2011

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nothing really, everything is just a quicky phase in comparison to all their lives, so i just see each phase with different eyes.

Roma - posted on 05/03/2011

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My kids are both in college! I have forgotten it all... as will all of you! Infact, I miss it...the poopy diapers, the sleepless nights,the annoying kids! Love the ride, be present, soak it in! In Joy!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/03/2011

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I have an 8 week old and a 6 year old. The 6 year old sometimes acts like she's going on 16 and the 8 week old doesn't like to be alone for more than 3 minutes and doesn't like to be put down too long either.
I wish the younger one would stay fuller longer because I breast feed and that hurts after a while. I also wish she'd want to sleep by herself because this co-sleeping thing is not fun.
The older one... well I wish she'd pay attention better. The questions can get annoying sometimes especially when I've answered it 6 times already!

Connie - posted on 05/03/2011

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My daughter is 11. When she's with me (90 0/0 of the time). She constantly is asking questions, or telling me. Mama look the dog is asleep. Or follows me to tell me something that is ridiculous. I can walk in another room, she yells for me , to have me watch a commercial. I can't focus on anything i'm doing for more than 10 min before she interupts me. To say something or need something.
It drives me crazy. She always wants me to read to her when she's in the shwr. I do sometimes but i'mma single parent and have a full time job, my house is always dirty, and i dont have time to take care of me.
My husband just left in jan. He helps some, but whenever she's here, ( almost all the time) she is SOOO CLINGY.. makes me:$;&)@(&:$:$@;;@ crazy.

Lindsy - posted on 05/03/2011

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For me it's never getting to be ALONE. I can't shower alone or sleep alone or do #1 or #2 in the bathroom without someone coming in. Yeah the things they do or don't do can be frustrating and upsetting but it's the lack of ME time that drives me nuts.

Merry - posted on 05/03/2011

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HAha by food I mean like corn dogs, canned fruit, microwaveable veggie bags, pbnjs, instant oatmeal, cereal, and the most I cook is stuff like boil pasta, scrambled eggs, or maybe a frozen pizza! Lol, of course I'd love to cook better, but I really don't want to learn.....call me lazy but breastfeeding was the best stage cuz I didn't have to do anything to feed him,just latch on and sit there! My kind of parenting I tell ya

Shannintipton - posted on 05/03/2011

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@ Laura,
At least you feed yours . . . my poor kids. They get snacked to death. {:+)

Merry - posted on 05/03/2011

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Why is it mom can never eat a meal without sharing!,!?,!!!
I didn't mind when he was small and asked so cutely, but now he demands my food and it's more peaceful to just share then to try to fight him!
Meals alone are SOOO amazing! I even eat in the bathroom if I have something specially yummy I don't want to share :D

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2011

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The *dobbing* on each other. Honestly, it was the first thing I woke up to this morning.

Julie - posted on 05/03/2011

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i could just about manage all the baby and toddler stages because i remember the good times like the cuddles kisses even picking the flowers in my garden for me to put in a vase right down to the frogs hopping across the living room carpet because the kids and their friends made a pond ( ahole lined withe the play house material) outside my front door and put frog spawn in it. i9 lived through the tantrums the embaressing moments out in public when they said or did anything inapropriate but what i really disliked was the teenage phase not because they were rude or sulky or even the backchat. it was the worry because they were no longer in front of my face for me to see what they were doing. i had to trust them and anyone with teenagers knows this isnt easy but we have to let them go and hope i did a good job so they came home safe and stayed out of trouble. now i look back and marvel at what i created (with a little help from daddy too LOL). well rounded mature respectful polite adults and thank my lucky stars and god everyday that there were no mishaps police hospital emergency departments or drug and alcohol abuse along the way. i love my family. have loved being a mum and will treasure every good bad happy sad and worrying moment of my life with them and hope i cna enjoy many more moments with any grandchildren they may bring home. the word MUM is a great woird and it is a great career. just thought i would let you all in on that

Khadijah - posted on 05/03/2011

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Hmmm, so much to choose from (LOL). I would have to say...I could definitely do without the tantrums, the whining, not being able to just get up and go out with having to pack like I'm moving into a fall-out shelter! LOL Potty training is torture and twisting my ankle on toys I can definitely do without. Oh and if I can eat one meal without having to share I'd be sooo happy! And last but not least......I would LOVE to have more Hubby & Me alone time.

Olympia - posted on 05/03/2011

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The frustration that i put up with everyday with my daughter she talks back and goes into this screaming fit when she can't get her way. I love her but sometimes i need a break more than just nap time

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For me, it seems like just when I think I can't take anymore of whatever stage we're in, he changes to something new and then I end up missing the old stage. l'm in the process of potty training, but surprisingly, changing diapers doesn't bother me. I think if there's one thing I was glad to see gone, it was the PPD. Other than that, I always miss the way things "used to be", you know, two weeks ago when he was a different person lol Right now, I'm struggling with him talking back and telling me "NO!" (he's 3.5 yrs old). Yeah, that can go away ANY TIME lol

Shannintipton - posted on 05/03/2011

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Some days I want it ALL to go away, but on a daily basis I would have to say the feeding of them. I CANT COOK. And when I do, they dont like it. The rest of if is just mildly annoying. :(

Murielle - posted on 05/03/2011

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the ugly toys eve3rywhere and that I never can relax unless she is right nixt to me. My 15 month old is extremely inquisitive, trying out how the toilet brush tastes and climbing just everywhere....and the mess she makes when eating. All forgotten when we have acuddle in the evening and she is stroking my face with her little chubby fingers.

Janet - posted on 05/03/2011

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Just reading all of the above replies had made me laugh out loud and feel way better! I know we all go through it, but it sure is awesome to read it all! :) Thank you for sharing ladies. Oh, and whining is my demon. We have nick named our 1 1/2 year old "Cabernet"! :)

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well I'm balancing a 13-year old and a newborn about to arrive... so with one I'd say if I could erase the word "whatever" from her vocabulary, life would be brilliant. for the other... I'm having a hard time looking forward to his birthday knowing that it includes crowning.

Deanna - posted on 05/03/2011

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LOL - 4 kids and it has been different with each kid. My oldest ignores me when i talk to her (and she's only 6!!!!) My second is Stubborn as a mule. My third is still in diapers and I really wish he were out. My fourth has to get into EVERYTHING. Leave her alone for 5 minutes and there will be a MESS to clean up. Other than that I hate midnight clean up's, and i hate how I feel when i lose my temper with them....

Tracey - posted on 05/03/2011

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I think the worst part of being a mom is the sadness I feel when my little one is sick. "Letting it run its course" does not feel natural to me. I want to make the discomfort go away as soon as possible.

Gwen - posted on 05/03/2011

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The 3 year old meltdowns. Last night, after struggling for almost an hour to get my daughter ready for bed, we were both in tears.

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