The father of my first child and my unborn baby dont give a shit

Rachael Meghan - posted on 10/30/2015 ( 37 moms have responded )

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The father of my child and unborn child don't give a shit about them and don't give a shit about my second pregnancy at all just like the first pregnancy.I'm already 3 weeks pregnant and he refuses to get ready for our baby and refuses to talk to me about it.Plus he lied to the landlord where we are renting a house together and he only told his landlord he only had one child which is a lie and he made it look like this wasn't our child this child was his ex-wife's child and refuses to tell the landlord the truth because he doesn't want to deal with my children he doesn't give a shit about.

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Raye - posted on 11/02/2015

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Rachel.... You are a mess. If all this stuff has been going on, then you should have a lawyer to sue for wrongful termination, sue for your parental rights to however many children you actually have given birth to, file for child support against how many baby-daddies you have. You are responsible for the situation you're in, because you refuse to get help, and now are trying to turn it around and the guy you first said didn't give a shit now all of a sudden is in love with you and will help you. Well, I'll bet you he WON'T. He hasn't been a good partner/father after 4 years, why should he start now. Sex is not love. He's getting what he wants... sex. Apparently all you care about is the sex. So good luck with that.

When you have kids, you're supposed to do what's best for them. It's no longer about you. But you can't seem to realize or take responsibility for everything you have LET others do. Yes, they are wrong for making your life more difficult, but you are wrong for not doing more to change your circumstances and be a good mom to your kids. And that means making hard decisions to leave people and towns that are not doing you any good.

Dove - posted on 10/30/2015

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If he didn't care about your first pregnancy or your first child w/ him... why the heck would you be having ANOTHER child w/ him and still be w/ him? You really only have yourself to blame for that part. It sounds like you need to make some choices in your life here.

By the way... when I was 3 weeks pregnant I hadn't done a thing to prepare for my kids yet... I didn't even know they existed yet. You don't, typically, know you are pregnant until at least 4 weeks because that is when you first miss your period.... And even then... there really isn't anything to 'prepare' for quite a while....

Raye - posted on 11/03/2015

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Why have you changed your mind about the father? He's been an asshole for years. He's going to keep being an asshole. You need to get away and get your life back in order. Stop being stupid by making the same mistakes over and over. That's how your child got taken away (not kidnapped if you went to court and they placed the child with someone else). Keep doing the same thing, and you'll get the next baby taken away, too.

You think all this stuff happens to you and you have no fault? WRONG! Maybe your adopted parents are controlling because you are still acting like a child, and not being responsible. Someone has to try to make better decisions for you. You obviously aren't making good choices on your own.

Ev - posted on 11/03/2015

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You have also made no sense in some posts that had a lot of things running together. It is also your fault. You had sex and got pregnant. You had the kids. social services did not destroy your family....things that happened within your family did that and the poor choices people make did that. You can not lay blame on everyone else and not take responsiblity.

[deleted account]

Ok, I tried to read this several times and I'm sorry, but I just don't have the energy to decipher what you're saying. Leave the jerk and stop having kids.

37 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 11/03/2015

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Rachael, exactly what advice are you after? Because people have offered good advice and you are just making excuses and being rude.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/03/2015

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alright if your done with my posts that's fine by me and I will leave it at rest good bye it was nice chatting with you.

Raye - posted on 11/03/2015

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I'm done reading updates to this post.
I've said what I had to say. Take it or leave it.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/03/2015

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Oh did not know that CPS was childn proction services and not the cops thanks for the advice.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/03/2015

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I think your wrong about that because the father ran off with his man friends and ignored me financially when I was pregnant with our first child and I desperately tried to talk to him but he ignored me every time and ran out the door anyway. My abuseive mother who adopted contrled me bitterly and forged and lied about horrible things against me and prevented me from working by lieing too my employee's.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/03/2015

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Thats so wrong and untrue because I'm getting a job at Subway and another job at a inn in town and a job on the side and I'm changing my life around and shutting off there bank account I'm getting my daughter back and I might leave my man too and straight en my life back up.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/03/2015

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Yes none of this is my fault and yes Social services destroyed our family and maybe know I don't think the father doesn't give a shit about his children anymore I think he can't financially take care of them that's what's going on because hrs got a dead beat job he's told me this and he also said that he does want his child back and he loves and misses her I think I made a false accusations on the father of my children.

Dove - posted on 11/02/2015

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Wow... what planet do you live on that EVERY single person in a position of any type of power (all your family, all employers, all law enforcement officers, the judges, and every government resource agency) are ALL against you? Some how I'm starting to think they aren't the ones to blame at all.

And no, CPS is not cops... it's Child Protection Services... which is sometimes called slightly different names depending on your area.

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2015

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You are not answering questions asked either. How many kids do you have, and how many have been abducted. You posts are contradictory. In one you have a child, and are 3 weeks pregnant. The next your child has been kidnapped, but your boyfriend cares for your kids? Your first post says he doesn't give a shit....
Why don't you go back a reread the whole thread and see if any of it makes sense to you. I only mentioned adoption as an option, if it is not for you that is your decision. However, if you have no home, no job and no money how will you provide for the baby? Would you rather CPS took it? CPS is Child Protective Services not the police BTW

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/02/2015

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There my children and they where kidnapped and I have been answering questions to other people's posts.Plus the adoption had to do with abuse because of family abduction and child disputes and I'm not interested in adoption at all.Also no blacklisting does not mean you can't work it means kissing a job over discrimination and illegally preventing you from working at a job it's a crime also it has do with your boss firing you over discrimination illegally. Also I'm in instered in WIC program,medicaid program but I want to parent my children I'm not interested in adoption like I stayed earlier at all I want to get my life financially straightened out so I can parent my children. Also I was denied the medicaid there was abuse going on with this company,false cgoverment benefit claims though and I should get medicaid the wright way not the wrong way this time.

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2015

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Rachel, I can't make head or tails out of this post. You say this is your second pregnancy, yet you refer to multiple kids; one who was kidnapped but the police won't intervene (then call the FBI)
Then you say:
" I moved away from the apartment with him because of the abuse at the apartment not abuse from him and he's helped me so much and he cares a little for our kids " What kids are these?
If you are in an unstable relationship, dealing with a kidnapping, are being abused by your family, have no money, job or place to live; how are you going to parent this baby?
You need to get out, apply for housing assistance, food stamps, WIC, and Medicaid until you get yourself a job and get your life back on track.
I don't know what you mean by you've been "blacklisted" so you cannot work. If you got fired from a job, they must have cause or you can sue for wrongful termination.
You have a lot of work to do on your own life, have you considered adoption may be a generous gift for this baby? To let it go to a couple who cannot have children and you can get your life in order before you try to parent.

Ev - posted on 11/02/2015

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{{I know the things Iv said sound like excuses to you but they are aren't my fault If really really tried but my my evil, mother who adopted pathological lied to me and ruined my life and I have wanted to leave but I just can't my boyfriend and I do love each other and we have know each other for 4 years and his ex wife's have cheated on him and hurt him really bad and I don't want him to think I don't love him when I do and he might turn around you never know.Also I moved away from the apartment with him beacause of the abuse at the apartment not abuse from him and he's helped me so much and he cares a little for our kids I think something needs to be done about my abusive parents who adopted me and let the father of my children have a second chance.}}----I am glad you are thinking of giving him that second chance. As for your adoptive parents, I am not sure what to tell you because I had better parents. But you are an adult and can make your own choices. You said you went to legal aid and what did they say or do? You are not specific on that one.
(( Also we have had more then sex tyed to this relationship we had dinner together a lot,watch tv together, gone shopping together, and much much more and I think there's more to this packaged deal and I think my boyfriend could help me with finding resources with me maybe. Maybe we need to sit down and talk and communicate together.I have called legal Aid before also.}}----Relationships are more than having dinners together, watching tv, and shopping. They involve talking, working things out, building on that basic element or elements that started your relationship. Relationships built on only some common interests or other things is not enough no matter how long you are together. You also have emotional ties to this person that go deeper than just friendship or commonality.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/02/2015

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I know the things Iv said sound like excuses to you but they are aren't my fault If really really tried but my my evil, mother who adopted pathological lied to me and ruined my life and I have wanted to leave but I just can't my boyfriend and I do love each other and we have know each other for 4 years and his ex wife's have cheated on him and hurt him really bad and I don't want him to think I don't love him when I do and he might turn around you never know.Also I moved away from the apartment with him beacause of the abuse at the apartment not abuse from him and he's helped me so much and he cares a little for our kids I think something needs to be done about my abusive parents who adopted me and let the father of my children have a second chance. Also we have had more then sex tyed to this relationship we had dinner together a lot,watch tv together, gone shopping together, and much much more and I think there's more to this packaged deal and I think my boyfriend could help me with finding resources with me maybe. Maybe we need to sit down and talk and communicate together.I have called legal Aid before also.

Ev - posted on 11/02/2015

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You know I have read the posts from you and the other ladies. It almost sounds like you are using some things you have said as excuses. You can find help. You can find someone in Legal Aid to help you if you apply yourself. When someone suggested that you not use those that told falsehoods on you when you applied to a job they didn't mean the places you applied but not to tell people you know will lie about you. And loving the sex is not a good enough reason to stay with someone. When you are in a relationship its more than the sex involved. Its something you have to work at. If all you are getting out of it is the sex, then its not a real relationship nor real love. Real love is when someone loves everything about you from your emotions, your intellect, your physical being and other things...the whole package. I think you need to go to that shelter in town and get yourself some resources to get the help you need.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/02/2015

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My menstrual periods last for one week.It starts every once a month that's how my menstrual period cycle runs.Only one womens shelter in town and they will not except me there Iv already tried. CPS is cops right?Yes and they don't give a crap they took her in the beginning but not know.I feel trapped but I'm totally broke and I don't feel like there's a way out plus I have no money and no place to go.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/02/2015

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I don't know how because I'm totally broke and I love the sex I get and Im totally broke. Iv tried to go to court to get my daughter back and I failed because the judge wanted a couple instead of the mom to take care of her and the judge violated my rights when Sally my mom who adopted me controlled me and pathological lied her mouth off to the judge and the judge believed her lies and the judge wouldn't even let me talk just Sally.Iv tried what you said already get a job and not tell them anything but I got fired and blacklisted and I lost a job at a gas station and Iv applied for many other jobs and not told them that I applied for the jobs either but Iv gotten nowhere my social security number and I'd was stolen, lied and forged and has a bad falsely accused record on it and Iv tried for years to change it but the money around here is crap.Also I live in a very small town and it's very hard to find a job plus my boyfriend said that he could help me financially and might marry me but he has changed his mind about all this know but he really wants me to stay and Iv know him for 4 years know .I do want a another baby and I want to parent my child even and I have had a postrauam tubel ligation after my first baby when I had a C-section delivery but my OBGYN doctor said I could still get pregnant again but do not have sex for 3-6 months,take birth control of some kind,and I also still had my menstrual period and I did not do anything the doctor said to do and she also said that this postrauam tubel ligation was just for couples who don't want a baby right away not to prevent pregnancies at all.Iv been desperately trying to get her back but no one seems willing to help me and Main street is the only shelter in town for miles around and I don't want to leave this town maybe, and they won't except me there anyway Iv already tried.

Raye - posted on 11/02/2015

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Rachael, you sound very naïve. If people treat you like shit, you get away from those people. If someone takes your child without court order to do so, then you file charges against them. I don't understand how someone lied to prevent you from getting a job, but don't use them as a reference and don't tell them where you're applying. If you don't want to have another baby, use birth control or (better yet) don't have sex!

Who is the worse parent... the jerk father? or the mother that continues to stay with the jerk knowing it's not good for her or her kids? Find a women's shelter or some other organization that can help you get away from the bad people and help you get your daughter back.

Dove - posted on 11/02/2015

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Not how long your period lasts.... How long in between each period starting. THAT is what a menstrual cycle IS...

It sounds like you really just need to get away from everyone and everything and start a new life for yourself and your unborn child... Are there any women's shelters in your area? Have you contacted CPS about the situation w/ your first child? How are these people getting away w/ kidnapping your child and keeping you from getting any job?

I understand you feel stuck in a horrible situation and it sounds like you ARE... but at some point you are going to have to take responsibility for your own life and accept accountability for what happens. If you don't get OUT of the situation you are in... nothing will ever change and at some point it will stop being your family and boyfriend's fault and start being yours.

Look into counseling and a women's shelter and go from there.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/02/2015

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My first child who was kidnapped is a complicated case it was a illegal family child abduction and the cops don't give a crap because there helping the one who kidnapped our daughter and the cops took our daughter illegally in the first place and kidnapped her first and refuses to help get her back.Also I want to insure that my next baby makes it home safely some how.Also my menstrual periods do not last 3 weeks only one week.

Rachael Meghan - posted on 11/02/2015

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I can't leave him If know him for about 4 years know and Im a victim and have know where else to go I'm flat broke and don't have another place to live and my abusive mother and father who adopted me are evil,pathological liars,controlling, are trying ruin my life financially and my sister and Gabriel are getting the finances instead of me since they child kidnapped our daughter and my boyfriend is too broke to do anything either he has a dead bet job.Also these people made up horrible lies about me and illegally prevented me from working at a job so I'm making no income just the father of my child but I don't want to punish the father to pay child support because hehas 4 children of his own already and has too pay for them and hes going broke over the child support payments already and he's already been through 2 divorces and a tough life like mine.What do I do?Also thanks for the advice about my second pregnancy. Also my boyfriend told me I can have custody of our daughter but I don't think he understands the child custody lawsand I was wondering is there child custody without child support?Also my boyfriend told me to leave him many times but he also said I should stay I'm so confused?We love each other and we where going to get married too and we did have 2 children together too.

Michelle - posted on 10/30/2015

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This just doesn't make sense.
You do realize that he's just telling you what you want to hear. He can "say" that he will do this and that, but if he isn't actually "doing" it then you need to leave him.
I still wouldn't have had a 2nd child with him.
Also Dove is right about how far along you are in your pregnancy.

Dove - posted on 10/30/2015

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If your first child was kidnapped... the police would go and get the child and give her back to you and arrest the person that kidnapped her.

If you already missed a period you would be more than 3 weeks pregnant unless you have a menstrual cycle of shorter than 3 weeks....

Rachael Meghan - posted on 10/30/2015

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We had our first baby together because he acted like he cared at first then he started acting funny and hanging out with his man friends more and my evil adopted kidnapped our baby anyway.I have been sad ever since our baby was gone and he neglected our daughter also but my evil,controlling,,abusive lieing adopted mom Sally financially ruined my live and kiddnapped her.I'm still with this man beacause I'm completely broke and need a place to stay and plus I love him very much and because he says he wants to make things better and get our daughter back with me one day and he told me was going to marry me but he never fell through with it.Also he still acts like he doesn't give a shit about our daughter beacause he doesn't give a shit how I feel and refuses to financially help me because he's almost broke himself but he says he loves me too and wants our daughter back he says but he has not mentioned helping me yet and I don't know if he ever will.Also we didn't mean to have another baby together we never discussed having a baby we just did it.Thanks for the advice on telling me that it will be quite a while before I have my next baby so some how we or I will be financially ready for the new baby.I already missed my menstrual period and I'm having implantation bleeding right know my baby will be a premature baby like my first pregnancy and I have pregnancy complications.

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