Melissa - posted on 05/29/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )
My son is 12.5yrs old who lives with his father. I have visitation, and court ordered child support. I have been back in his life consistently for about a year now. I have him here every other weekend, and every other Monday following a non visitation weekend. I have always been in contact with his father and have always paid child support. His home life is (from what I have gathered from the paternal side of his family) not so good. The dad and the wife constantly arguing. When I first moved back to the area the father actually had the audacity to tell me that he would leave his wife if I would take him back. This, after 11 years was not going to happen. I have talked to our son on several different occasions about what he wants, because it seems like a constant battle to have him when he is allowed to be here. The father is always planning their stuff on my weekends, and makes our son not want to be here because then he is missing out on what fun stuff his dad is doing. At first he told me he wanted to be here and his dads equally.. then he said he didn't want to be here at all anymore, and then he wanted to just come when he felt like it (meaning only when I have something fun planned and theres nothing better to do) and then again wanting to come equally and now he makes it out like I have ruined his life by being here and wanting to spend time with him. I am very stable, am about to marry in 3 months, and have another son who is 8 who has a true deadbeat father, and about to gain a wonderful stepdaughter when I marry. I am so torn on whether I should just take his dad back to court ( I have been consulting with an attorney who says the probability of me getting joint physical custody is very good) or just throwing up my hands and saying forget it. I don't want to make my son hate me, but it seems no matter which I choose, he just might. I try to talk to him about how he feels and he won't breathe a word in reply. Please help!