The relationship between my teenage son and his father is strained

Maua - posted on 08/28/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son's dad and I were separated for 16 yrs, 3 months before my son was born. Our relationship was so strained and we both acted selfishly and did not talk for 5 yrs, therefore the two never bonded.



The next few years we seldom met. He got into another relationship with a friend of mine and a son was born. They later separated, and he moved to Kenya with his other son. Soon after, we started talking again and this continued for about 4 years, trying to work out the strained relationship with his son.



Last year Dec my son and I took a holiday to Zanzibar and we ran into each other with the dad, his son and his parents. We had a lovely time with them and this kind of rekindled our relationship. He visited us in Feb and then the two of us took a week away. He proposed and we got married two months later. Everything has been good, except my son has refused to accept him.



I am torn in between the two and I do not know how to bring them together. My son is almost 16. My step son is 13 and he is shutting me off as well. We all live in my 2 bedroomed flat as we look for a big house that can accommodate all of us.



Please help.

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Dove - posted on 08/28/2012

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If your son has spent most of his 16 years without his father.... the relationship IS going to be strained and may or may not ever be good. You can't force it. All your husband can do is be patient and give his son time to learn to trust him.

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