the santa question?

Mel - posted on 07/06/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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its a long way off yet, but what is everyones thoughts on santa or father xmas? do you make your child grow up to believe only to have there hopes and dreams dashed by a little brat or older sibling. or do you teach them the truth and then they are the little brat to other children?

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My boys are 10 and 7 and they both still believe although my oldest is starting to question it. I think the Santa thing is magical and I couldn't imagine not giving my children that fun. They will learn the truth soon enough and face this harsh world so let them believe. It is a wonderful thing for them and you. I found out when I was 10 and was disappointed but I was fine and never felt my mom lied to me. She did it out of love. I tell my boys that I still believe in Santa and I do. The spirit of St. Nick (who was a real person, by the way) is alive as long as you let it be. Christmas is very magical for me. The spirit of St. Nick is to give and receive gifts of material and love out of kindness towards others. How beautiful is that?! Enjoy it as long as you can. When other kids at school tell my kids there is no Santa, I say, "how sad that they don't believe". There will come a time when your kids don't believe in the man in red with the white beard but if you play it right, they will never lose his spirit. When my kids ask me if Santa is real, I just say, "what do you think in your heart". They always say enthusiastically, "I believe!" That is their decision and their choice. I don't impose it on them. Although my oldest didn't want to sit on Santa's lap this year, he wrote him a letter. I let him decide what he wanted to do. My kids know they can ask Santa for 3 gifts since Jesus got 3 gifts. This keeps them from being greedy and gives me a chance to make sure I get at least those three things if they are within reason price wise. I tell my children that Santa will not get them things they know I don't approve of or real expensive gifts since he does not like greediness and has many children to take care of. They always get more than three gifts but I don't want Christmas to be about how much loot they can get. We do many activities such as gingerbread houses, buying toys for kids that don't have anything, riding around with hot chocolate looking at lights, and baking that my kids treasure. Enjoy Santa. Your children will not think they can't trust you if you play this with them. It will create many happy memories for them when they grow up.

Julia - posted on 07/06/2009

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I like this topic. In a few years when my son is old enough I wasnt sure what to do about the santa thing I dont want to lie to him about it now I have a better idea of how to deal with it thanks ladys.

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Whatever works for your family and "feels right" to you. For us, we decided against Santa and the Easter Bunny and all that. Since we are Christians and those holidays have deeper meanings, we decided to skip the cutesy meanings and just stick to the religious ones. We do the Tooth Fairy since it is something that does not take away from a religious holiday. My kids love it. We also do not celebrate Halloween at all. We still eat candy at all of the holidays. We just buy it when we see something we like is available. They enjoy the religious ceremonies and the sweets and rarely ask about what everyone else is doing. You are perfectly correct in saying that the kids who don't believe in Santa tend to be the brats who ruin it for everyone else! We had to really stay on our kids when they were little to not do that. We told them, "St. Nicholas was a real person (blah blah) but he died and now people like to play a game and pretend that he comes to their house. It's a fun pretend game that they like to play in their family and it is mean to ruin the game for them! So don't!!"

User - posted on 07/06/2009

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We'll likely handle it much the way my parents did since it seemed to work for my sister & I. I plan to let LO believe in Santa. When we start to get toward the age where he might "find out," we'll start to talk about the fact that the magic of the holidays is in our hearts and that "believing" or something being "real" can mean a lot of different things.

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Jessica - posted on 07/06/2009

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When i found out that santa wasn't real i told my little sister and the look on her face was heartbreaking! I've never forgotten that look. However, I don't really see any harm in the idea as most kids figure it out by themselves! I would say though that if that doesn't happen then when it comes to the "Santa isn't real" speech you should let them know that it's not a big deal! I personally don't believe in organised religion, but my son will know where the idea of christmas started and will know that it is a family holiday and not just a day for getting presents.

User - posted on 07/06/2009

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I've heard about doing a "Welcome St. Nick" party in early December to celebrate the person he was and to teach children the TRUE story of St. Nick, using this day to go to the mall and have your picture taken with the man who is pretending to be St. Nick, and then keeping the focus of Christmas on Jesus.

I like this idea, and I appreciate the ideas of explaining that, to some families, Santa Claus is a story they like to pretend is real, and it's not nice to spoil the fun.

[deleted account]

Quoting Tammy:

We told them, "St. Nicholas was a real person (blah blah) but he died and now people like to play a game and pretend that he comes to their house. It's a fun pretend game that they like to play in their family and it is mean to ruin the game for them! So don't!!"



I like this idea! My husband and I have talked about this before and we don't want to lie to our children as it sparks a seed of doubt in everything you tell them. If you lied about SANTA...what else have you lied about kinda thing. We still play the "game" and leave cookies for "Santa" and tell him he has to go to sleep early. He's only 3 right now and all the presents are from mom & dad. We agreed that we were going to tell him about St. Nicholas, and make the holidays about giving, and when he's older we'll volunteer and give to the community this time of year. That way it's not ALL about getting presents. The Easter bunny, in my house, is a bunny you get your pic with @ the mall, or the character of chocolates you eat n April. :)



As far as the "brat" that spoils it for other kids... I would hope that maybe my son will have some compassion for the nievete of others, but feel that my child, who I refuse to censor, will likely be the spark for many issues of other parents letting their children keep their "innocence" or neievete as I would prefer to call it.



All that being said, you do what you feel comfortable doing.

Mel - posted on 07/06/2009

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im between a rock and a hard place.
i really like the idea of the magic and inocence of santa
but i also want my child to know where the toys all came from
i was thinking of saying that the child makes the list and sends it to santa who rings mammy and daddy to say its in stock (get out clause for not being able to afford things)
then saying mammy and daddy go and buy the toys and send them to santa who gives his own little wooden toy

but then i thought it was overly complicated

but the next problem is daddies brother who is 21 has the mental age of an 6-8 year old and his mother will still insist on taking him to see santa every year and that santa is real and buys all the presents and drops them down the chimney and every year he goes on about santa in a way that makes me feel really uncomfortable as its to over the top!! and i dont want my child beliving in such an extent he does but will he spoil it?

thankfully by the time i get really old i think xmas will go back in time and there wont be much fuss cos of the multi religious state we are becoming that soon we wont be able to have lights in the street or our windows

Sabrina - posted on 07/06/2009

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We have started our own traditions for the ids. But we let them have fun believing in santa. Your only a kid once and I think they should be able to have fun. When some brat comes along and says that all of those things are not real then I guess I will handle it then. I dont remember how old i was when i found out but i dont remember ever being very disappointed either. I do know that my grandpa was santa for different charity organizations. And i remember how happy it made those kids to see him. even if he wasnt tthe real thing. i dont see it as a lie you are just letting them believe in magic. its the same thing with going to the theme parks. they see the characters on tv and then they go to visit them. my girls love to pretend they are princesses or fairies. in a way its good for them they are using their imagination.

Minnie - posted on 07/06/2009

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We don't do Santa. Well, we teach our children that St. Nicholas was a nice man who gave children gifts. But we don't lead them to believe that there is a fat man who shimmies down chimneys to leave gifts. Nor do we do the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy.



We don't lie to our kids. For us, holidays are about spending time with family and enjoying each other's company. It's no less special for the children without fancy tales that they believe are true.

[deleted account]

It's not a real issue here in my house becasue we celebrate Christmas & Chunkkah-but I have to also say that we're really not overly religious here. I tend to go with the flow of Santa just because it's the norm in preschool & the rest of society.

Amanda - posted on 07/06/2009

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i personally believe in teaching children the true meaning of christmas. i think it makes them more grateful for the gifts that you give them, knowing that their parents work hard to give them the things that they want and need. my girls are 1 and 2 and they still get presents and get to experience the christmas season while also learning valuable life lessons.

Michelle - posted on 07/06/2009

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I plan to let my child believe in Santa! When the time comes and she asks me I will tell her the truth. I remember being so excited about Santa and I want my daughter to experience it too!

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