the step dad

Alisa - posted on 11/10/2013 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Been with him for 3yrs. My daughter is 16 now. So far there are 2 big blow outs that resulted in name calling and threatening to kick my daughter's boyfriend ass. So now after that he, my husband, expects her to do a 360 and act like a family or he threatens to divorce me. She is suppose to eat with us and do things with us or he is leaving. He wants me to tell him off she does not act normal she is not allowed to go out with her bf. Btw she is a,b student, does not drink or do drugs and not a problem child. I'm having such a hard time with this. Abby thoughts?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/11/2013

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Yeah. Lose the loser.

ANYONE who threatens to leave a relationship and blames it on the kids is a loser. ANYONE.

Your daughter is living in an abusive situation, due to your husband's immature actions, and his mother is no better. What gives either of them the right to get into YOUR kid's face and berate them?

Your child needs to have a parent who will protect them, not expose them to this crap. Put your foot down. Either your man respects your kid, and treats her accordingly, or he gets out. And don't threaten him, make it happen.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/13/2013

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Good job, Alisa! Best of luck to you in moving forward and away from this loser!

Alisa - posted on 11/12/2013

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I have gotten him out of the house, it was not pretty and I had to get the police involved because he started pushing my dad and getting in my daughters face AGAIN! He knew my dad was coming home and wanting to talk to him, he got home at about 8. He started saying the crap he always says and because I told him yes or to leave (I cant remember) he threw a whole cup of soda on me, NICE!!! Anyways I found out by the police that it is quicker and less painless to file an injunction and that is quicker then evicting so that is what I am gonna have to do. It was not safe for my daughter and I did the best way I knew how to get him out. He is manipulative and would not of left on his own so I need to stop beating myself up and make my daughter my #1 priority. Thank you for your comments.

Enna - posted on 11/12/2013

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Your husband needs some counselling/parenting classes. Is this his (your) only child?
I would be horrified if my husband acted like that, but he's dad and has been around since before my kids were born, so he knows the routine. Teenagers are a pain, and your husband probably doesn't know how to handle it.
Threatening to divorce you over your daughter is ridiculous and he needs to grow up.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/11/2013

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So have your dad get an eviction notice. Have it served by the authorities, and make sure that it stipulates a date & time that he must be out, under penalty of law.

Alisa - posted on 11/11/2013

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I have tried to get him to leave but he won't! This is my dad's house and we live and pay the bills there. My dad is in the apt that is hooked on. He wanted us to make it work because he is 75 and does not want to worry about me and my daughter, thinks we won't beable to support ourselves if my hubby leaves. But he is starting to notice that my hubby is a bull sh*ter and now understand, he is on the verge of dementia :(

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/11/2013

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Again, an abusive situation. Putting yourself into a psych ward does not protect your daughter.

Get you and your daughter OUT of this situation.

Alisa - posted on 11/11/2013

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Sometimes I feel that I am wrong and he is right and I wanna put myself in a psych ward!

Alisa - posted on 11/11/2013

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Also since the last incident I had his mom hep me with my daughter but instead she put her finger in my daughter's face and told her to get oover it. Sarah backlashed by telling her that she is not my daughter's grandma and we ain't family. Now his mom ave his sister does not want anything to do with my daughter until she apologizes.

Alisa - posted on 11/11/2013

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I don't understand why he can't leave her alone. She stays in her room now and is scared of him with all the threats, he wants her get to be normal and do thing with us and I don't feel like I should make her

Alisa - posted on 11/11/2013

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He is 36 and he says if our marriage breaks up then he will also take my daughter's bf down with him

Jodi - posted on 11/10/2013

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Is he an actual adult? Because I would have though he'd be the adult in the relationship, he sounds more like a child the way he is carrying on. Personally, I'd let him walk. This is really immature behaviour, playing the threat game.

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