the story was wrong
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Michelle - posted on 07/18/2012
She was 6 when she told you and you believed that she would never trust you again!!! I'm sorry but I agree with the other ladies, you knew what had happened and you didn't report it, YOU are at fault and the reason she has been taken away from you is because YOU have not reported it and done everything in your power to protect her.
He should be charged and would have been a year ago if you had done your JOB as a parent. You will need to get a good lawyer and get some help for yourself so that they will contemplate giving you back your daughter.
Think long and hard about having her cry for a couple of days against you losing her for an undetermined time. What would have been easier?
Jodi - posted on 07/18/2012
Well, yes. You KNEW your daughter had been sexually abused and all you did was banned him from contact, and then monitored his contact? Are you fucking kidding me? Sorry, but no freaking wonder they came and took your little angel away. She needs HELP, she needs COUNSELLING. You may feel blameless in all of this, but you aren't. Plain and simple. You had a fucking OBLIGATION to report this situation and get your child some help. It doesn't MATTER what your daughter said about telling you nothing again.
I will bow out now before I REALLY say something I feel. I simply cannot believe that a mother would just brush such a thing under the carpet. That just makes me SICK.
Dove - posted on 07/18/2012
How do you let a 6/7 year old CHILD dictate your actions? Your daughter needed you and you failed her. It's as simple (and heartbreaking) as that.
Look at it this way.... at least with her in foster care now she will be getting the help she should have gotten a year ago. And hopefully the boy will be getting help and hasn't abused anyone else since that time.
Tina - posted on 07/18/2012
Honestly I'd have a hard time restraining myself from strangling anybody who ever did anything to my little girl. All adults have an obligation to report abuse doesn't matter who does it. Doesn't matter if you're a parent or not. Children cannot protect themselves that's why they have parents and guardians. I think the biggest issue as to why your daughter was taken is the fact you aloud the abuser into your home knowing what he'd done.
~â¥Little Miss - posted on 07/18/2012
You should be ashamed of yourself for not reporting this. Sometimes you have to go against what your children are asking in order to protect them. This is disgusting. You did not just let her down, this was a betrayal. She will never forgive you for this, and rightly so.
This conversation has been closed to further comments
Nikki - posted on 07/18/2012
Jodi is right. Your daughter was taken away because you refused to protect her. You should have gone to the police and family services. As a mother you are supposed to be an advocate for your child, you stand up for them when they cannot, you support them and you help them through hard times. You let your daughter down when she needed you the most.
Corinne - posted on 07/18/2012
Wow, just wow. You KNEW something terrible had happened to your daughter and you failed to report it? You didn't seek help and support for her and then exposed her to her attacker?! I am pretty much at a loss for words here. I am not in the least bit surprised they took your daughter and I think you will have one hell of a fight on your hands to see her any time soon. I agree with Jodi, I cannot comprehend how or why you thought brushing this aside was the right thing to do. I am sickened to my core.
S. - posted on 07/18/2012
Firstly Why has she been taken from you?
Did you tell anyone? Your nephews mother or father! Or have you just kept it to yourself?
I understand more then some that with things like this you want to hide away but you owe it to your daughter and other children that he might be hurting to stop him. You also need to stop letting your daughter make such important choices she will be confused and is to young. By you saying £20 I am guessing you live in the Uk? If that is the case I can imagine you will get your daughter back ok, you may be put on some classes together with your daughter and you need to get your child counselling regarless to it being a year ago clearly it is still effecting her.
Please do NOT ever let her see this boy again! And hopefully someone is looking in to why he is doing these things!
Tina - posted on 07/18/2012
It's not always easy to know what to do. Unfortunately even though she didn't want him to get into trouble it still would have been the right thing to do and to seek councelling and explained that he could do this to someone else. Sometimes these tough decisions have to be made. Seek legal advice and maybe councelling to help you through this. If you can do that and show that you can keep her safe there's no reason why you can't get her back. Unfortunately it doesn't matter how careful you are. You should not have let him near her doesn't matter how much she begged. You only have to take your eye off him a moment and he could do something. But that's in the past. All you can do is learn from it and try to do everything you can now to get her back and keep her safe. I'd be teaching her rules about not being aloud around a boy alone etc. She's a 7 year old girl she's not always going to like your decisions but these decisions are in her best interest. I'm sorry but regardless of the situation you did have an obligation to report it. He may just get a slap on the hand. But it needs to be known what he's like as he could do it to someone else. Not only that these people have a way of manipulating. The reason why she wanted to see him and didn't want him to get into trouble. Later on she will understand that it was wrong and she will need some sort of councelling to deal with the abuse.
I was 6 when a 15 year old boy touched me inappropriately. He didn't get punished he was just band from the caravan park where I lived at the time. What angers me the most is not what happened to me. But knowing he's possibly out there doing it to others and possibly worse and learnt how to get away with it. I don't live anywhere near that area now. I remember all the details. But I couldn't say what he looked like today. It scares me that people like him are roaming around and have more rights than their victims. I just hope you've learn from this incident and understand it is your job to do what's right. Regardless of how it affects you.
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