THE THIRD PARTY ISSUE!!

MarieMarie - posted on 08/09/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Baby is due in 12 days and bf/biological father wants me to go through his mother to contact him...How can I get around this or should I just leave him out and not bother with contacting her either....After all it is his child not her's why should she keep up with his responsibility.....Im not sure if this is a mind game or if I should really do this or not???...Baby due in 12 days and I am feeling controlled. He can text me about the baby, but when I respond he tells me to stop texting him and if I 'need' anything to go through his 'mother'.....Has anyone else been through this and how did you handle it?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/09/2013

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First, he is the father, and deserves a relationship with the child.

Perhaps he feels that by having his mother as the intermediary, he can control his feelings (whatever they may be, anger, irritation, whatever) towards you and still have a quality relationship with the child.

Use his mother as the intermediary. Allow the man to know his child.

Get paternity established, and custody and visitation ironed out in court.

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Evelyn - posted on 08/13/2013

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I'm sorry about that, but that guy is not serious. Is it his mum who got you pregnant or him. He is trying to tel you that, he is not interested in your issues and that his mum will tel you what to do? In Africa, if guys refer you to their mothers, it tells he is not sure with you and if the mother disproves, he will have nothing to do with you.

Please take a walk. This is your life. Just tell him straight that if he is not interested, he should say it. His mum has nothing to do hear and should not be involved.
For the sake of your financial support though, just play along. Keep both of them updated, and let them help in paying the bills. Once you get out of the situation, now be wise and let the funny guy take a walk as well. He is not sure of himself.

MarieMarie - posted on 08/13/2013

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Exactly. His mother is wonderful and Im sure she will spoil the baby in her way. I dont want to cancel her out at all. I just dont want him to get it in his head that his child is his mothers responsibility and that everytime I need to get a hold of him I need to call his mother. His mother has a life too lol. I definetly will be getting the courts involved unfortunately but there has to be a mutual ground besides his mother. I will give it a shot a the beginning first though.

MarieMarie - posted on 08/13/2013

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definetly. as far as the feelings go. I sure hope he gets that part under control so that we can co-parent properly for sure. I want a happy baby and I dont feel like me and him have to be in a relationship to have a family.

Michelle E - posted on 08/09/2013

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Wow...and ouch, he has zero idea of what trap he is setting himself up for.. Make a relationship with his mom. If he doesn't want to be involved, don't force it; however go through the courts, he needs to be held responsible for his child.
I didn't go through it, but my BFF of. 35+years did.
She gets along fine with his mom (and she likes me too! Much to his dismay 14 years later I still get invited over for dinner & drinks when I'm in town :D ).
Stay on the high road.. be a good mommy, allow her to be a good grandma but insure EVERYONE understands you expect him to be a responsible father.
Good luck & God bless..

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