the twisted custody battle

Cutemommy - posted on 03/25/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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So I've realized that by trying to keep things peaceful me and my husband have let an odd situation get weirder. It has gotten to the point to where idk if it is normal or not. over the years we have known that his sons mom brings his son and the child she had with another man to his mothers (My mother in laws) house for babysitting. We thought ok maybe it's only in emergencies. I guess they were there more than we knew, my neice even calls them brother and sister, and my mother in law has told my husband she talks to her more than him (her own son) We do not visit his mom often. The thing is that my husband wants more time with his son because we realize she is just leaving him at his moms house for weeks on end even enrolled him in the school and me and my husband are left like wait!!! when we asked to enroll him here by us she said no that she was going to enroll him by HER moms house. Mind you she doesn't have insurance for him and my husband called off work to get his physical and immunizations two years in a row once in kindergarten and once when she moved. Also to the dentist when his teeth were rotting out because they feed him soda and junk all day. The dentist told my husband he is very concerned about his heath due to his teeth issues. They literally had to put him to sleep and pull out a bunch of teeth. We honestly are frightened of court as we are not the richest people I am in school and my husband works full time but Its not right what she is doing and I'm just curious to know if anyone else has been through a custody battle and what we can expect. Ill take any advice I just want to do things the right way. She is not a bad mother I just feel like my husband and I would be a little more concerned for his well being rather than a place to dump him off at. She literally does nothing for him other than take him to disneyland and baseball games seriously she only cuts his hair when she is going to disneyland or its his bday. my husbands mother also makes things worse by allowing her to bring her kids when its convenient like work parties, sometimes you gotta say no take him to his dads im the grandmother not the parent. We will go visit my mother in law and her daughter and my step son will just be there like they live there and my husbands just like hey son didn't realize you were here its weird. We need some sort of custody already.

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Cutemommy - posted on 03/28/2016

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you know what I did not know that a judge signs off on mediation papers. They were done a very long time ago about a year or two into our relationship before we were even married. That would be something to definitely pull up, because i thought mediation was just a verbal agreement. Oh and yes we do have all his paperwork stored.

Dove - posted on 03/26/2016

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There should have been court orders for custody and visitation from the very beginning. The mediator is supposed to help the two of you come to an agreement and then it is supposed to be signed off on by a judge. So what happened in mediation and what do those papers say?

He needs to document all the evidence of serious neglect (the dental records, etc...) and get a lawyer.

Michelle - posted on 03/26/2016

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I agree with Shawnn, get a lawyer and go to court. It's the only way.

Cutemommy - posted on 03/25/2016

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The first time everything was settled by a mediator, so no legal custody or anything set in stone. Yeah it's time, and there definitely is no other way around this.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/25/2016

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What are his court orders? Did he even GO to court to get custody, visitation, right of first refusal, etc figured out to begin with?

If not, then there's no way around this. You need to consult with a family attorney, and he needs to be ready, and willing to bear all.

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