Regine Nicole - posted on 07/04/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
I guess I'm not a mother anymore. I got pregnant at 18...and I am still 18:(. I honestly didn't want a baby but I had one. I have a good man who wanted and wants to be a father still. I'm effey because on June 25th, I gave birth to a 21 wk. old baby boy that came out 20 wks. old (by the gestational age). The doctor told my family and me that there is no miracle. Then he gave me this speel that hes so intelligent and went to this university and was one of the top of his classmates. And how if his wife had a preterm delivery this early he would say don't try to save him. My family didn't like him. But he wasn't trying to be rude. But he told me that I had a incompetent cervix and that my baby was breeched. The baby was so small it didn't matter but I had a RN crying out of empathy and encouraging me and I believe she was my guardian angel from God. Did any of you who lost a baby blamed yourself??? My baby came out breathing/living and then died that same night. My fiance, our family and I held him til he was cold. That was the first night I seen my fiance cry. He didn't want to let our Ezemiah go. But I figured out that I had an infection called caucus (sorry for the spelling) too. This year I've been through a lot and it's been stressful. I feel like God is putting too much burden on me. I cried when my soon to be sister-in-law had a woman bring her baby from the hospital. It hurts so bad becausr that could have been me. I started loving my baby and then I lost him. I ask God why? But i have another question. How does one stay on bed rest from the incompetent cervix for 8 months without working, traveling, exercising or doing daily lifestyles??? Does it mean no intercourse too?